That Soulja Boy and Chris Brown Boxing Match? Don’t Watch It.

 

You know, I promised myself I wouldn’t talk about this.

No snippy Tweets, no irritable Facebook posts – I even refused to click on most links alluding to the topic too.

These awful think-piecers ain’t getting page hits off me.

But after my boys prodded me on the latest YouKnowIGotSoulInStereo podcast, and because the Internet refuses to SHUT UP about the topic, I realized my silence made me complicit in this craziness.

So yeah, that beef between Soulja Boy and Chris Brown? You need to tune that nonsense out, for the good of hip-hop.

For those of you with better things to do than watch toddlers scream at each other on a digital playground, here’s the gist:

Soulja Boy, SoulinStereo.com’s official Worst Rapper Alive, liked a picture on Karrauche Tran’s Instagram page. Her ex, my illegitimate Cousin Chris Brown, saw this, called up Soulja and threatened to throw hands – because he sees women as his property or something, I guess. I’ll ask him at the family reunion.

That led to a mountain of tweets, grainy Taliban-looking videos and New Testament-length Instagram posts that led to Breezy challenging Soulja to a PPV fight. Chris’ baby daughter was dragged into this, Soulja may or may not have been robbed on camera – it was basically the worst episode of Empire ever.

And that’s saying something. Have y’all SEEN season 3?

Anyway, this has become a full-fledged spectacle with 50 Cent playing promoter, Floyd Mayweather training Soulja, Mike Tyson training Cousin Chris – they’ve even dragged my girl Kelly Price into it, who claims she’ll be singing the national anthem.

And no, I’m not linking to a single article on this disgrace. The reason this disaster has gone so far is because we’ve enabled it.

Yes, that includes you.

Now I hear the defenders of this farce loud and clear: “Wouldn’t you rather them settle it in the ring instead of on the streets?” Well, frankly I’d rather two grown men not squabble over a girl NEITHER of them are dating, but I’m a well-adjusted adult and that’s a rarity on the Internet these days.

But this isn’t about settling a fight, this is about publicity. Floyd, 50, your favorite garbage blogger even my boo Kelly are all cashing in on two guys starving for attention – one who hasn’t put out a decent album in a decade and another who has NEVER put out a decent album.

And the virus is already spreading. Mumble rapper du jour Kodak Black also has challenged Lil Wayne to a fight, for lord knows what reason. Now Wayne might not have had a good album since I Love New York was on the air, but at least he gave us great songs in the past. What has Kodak Black ever done other than cosplay as Spikor from He-Man?

Nothing, and that’s why he’s looking for shine.

In 2016, we heard ENDLESSLY about the evils of DA MEEDIUH who distract us with “fake news” while we miss real issues.

Well, allow me to speak as a member of the media – audiences have WAY more power than they realize. Media outlets (the bad ones, anyway), simply cater to what their audiences crave. It’s like an irresponsible parent who only feeds their kids ice cream every day because it’s all they want and makes them the hero. The reason there are 400 posts on this juvenile “beef” in your timeline is because Y’ALL KEEP SHARING THEM. The more you share, the more hits those blogs receive – and they keep generating MORE content to keep up with that demand.

And when you have nothing else going on in your life but court cases and trying to find space on your body for new tats, you’re going to lap up that attention with a spoon.

This ain’t hip-hop. This is a bunch of thirsty bottom-feeders looking for a payday.

(I love you, Kelly but you’ve gotta run far away from this career-killing powder keg.)

If this fight actually happens – which I doubt – do not spend one DIME on it. Don’t share the tweet, don’t even illegally stream it. These clowns even consider negative press a win. The only way we move on from this is if it’s an abject failure.

And despite this post, I’m taking my own advice and resuming radio silence. But someone had to give y’all that real today.

Look, you can call me a biased, crusty writer than only listens to old-man rap and hates on young cats.

But I’m just here for the music. Go ahead and let these terrorists win if you want – the music industry you love will simply become even more of a sideshow.

Remember back in grade school when the weird guy in the back of the class would stick his finger in his nose and lick the snot to get the girls to scream? Ever wonder why he did it? One word: Attention.

Hip-hop is filled with a bunch of booger-eaters. Stop paying attention and they’ll act right.

Or, at the very least, you won’t have to watch them be disgusting.