ASAP Rocky
Don’t Be Dumb (released January 16, 2025)
Y’all know that “my life a movie?” meme? If we’re talking about ASAP Rocky, it’s way more than that – his life is a nine-season Apple+ drama.
When he burst onto the scene in the very early 2010s with his ASAP Mob crew, Rocky instantly became a trendsetter for a new generation of fans. I called them Dipset for the modern millennial, a high-profile crew that influenced both flows and fashion. While Rocky’s early albums were celebrated, he soon became more known for his high-profile romances and business deals than his work in the booth. Then came the tragic deaths of several Mob members, along with Rocky’s mounting legal troubles. But hey, he beat the cases, married one of the biggest pop icons on the planet and now has a gang of kids. Happy ending.
That’s Emmy-level storytelling right there. But through it all, it always felt like Rocky had unfinished business. Don’t roll the credits yet.
The booth has been calling, and Rocky definitely has more stories to tell.
Don’t Be Dumb, Rocky’s fourth solo album and his first in nearly a decade, has a lot of ground to cover, and he isn’t afraid to push every boundary to get his message out there. It’s an ambitious goal – sometimes to a fault.
The album opens with “Order of Protection” and it’s immediately clear that Rocky has a chip on his shoulder the size of Groot. The original one, not the baby one:
It’s been a lil’ while since I been in the league
A couple lil’ trials, couple of leaks
Still in the field like I’m runnin’ in cleats
Last time I checked, we still in the lead
Early on, the message is clear – Rocky is here to prove that there’s no ring rust on his game. “Helicopter,” a track catchier than 19 COVID-19 patients, unleashes a cavalcade of quotables. “Used to be, n****s do anything for a new check/Nowadays, these days, n****s do anything for a blue check,” and “When tennis shoes had the check or three stripes on the side/Way before Puma cut the check, yeah, three strikes, that’s your life.” Rocky’s happy remind you that he’s hasn’t just been relegated to diaper duty in his hiatus, he’s racked up more than a few fashion deals too.
But I’m sure the biggest buzz – and the most annoying amount of think pieces – will come from “Stole Ya Flow,” a bevy of not-so-subtle shots at everyone’s favorite punching bag Drake. “Stole my flow, so I stole yo’ b****/If you stole my style, I need at least like ten percent/With all due disrespect, I hope you take offense.” Calling out Kleptomaniac Aubrey for his obsession with swiping his peers’ flows while also bragging that he married the girl Drake chased for years? That’s quite the victory lap.
While the first quarter of Don’t Be Dumb feels like vintage mixtape Flacko, the energy begins to shift as we get glimpses of Rocky the husband and father. Rocky gets his romance on on “Stay Here 4 Life,” thanks to addictive smoked-out production and a nice hook from Brent Faiyaz, while “Playa” shows his more mature side: “Takin’ care of your kids, boy, that’s player s***.”
Of course I’d give the “Playa” song love.
From there, things get even more experimental. “STFU” is a rock-fueled dose of anti-authority, as Rocky and the Slay Squad wild out, mosh-pit style, on today’s atrocities. Brahim Gousse steals the show with his verse:
How you ask for a handouts and you ain’t hit the concrete?
They say Haitians eatin’ cats, I make sure my dogs eat
Rich, rich, rich, rich, I make sure it’s under the seat
Eh, eh, eh, eh, I ain’t got no time for the weak
First single “Punk Rocky” continues the indie rocker vibe, and while it will appeal to the hip-hop mosh pitters among us, honestly the most interesting thing about it is the single cover.
PaRocky the Rapper is pretty dope.
And therein lies the problem with Don’t Be Dumb – it tries to be too many things. I’ll never knock an artist for evolution but there’s a lot of sonic whiplash going on here. One minute, he and Doechii are taking it back to the Roaring 20s with “Robbery,” the next we go from dreamy soundscapes to stuttering instrumentals on “Don’t Be Dumb/Trip Baby.” Quite frankly, he seems most at home over speaker knockers like “Stop Snitching” or the bounce of “Whiskey (Release Me).” By the way, I’m really annoyed we only got a bunch of adlibs from Westside Gunn on the latter instead of a full verse. That guy is becoming the Mortal Kombat 3 announcer of hip-hop.
The album ends in solid fashion, with “The End” serving as somber reflection on these turbulent times (“ain’t plantin’ trees no more, ain’t plantin’ seeds no more/Ain’t no birds and the bees no more”) with a pair of songs (essentially bonus tracks) wrapping things up. “Fish N Steak (What It Is)” is the superior of the two, with Tyler, the Creator dropping the best bars of the entire project. That’s light work for Tyler these days.
From love to hate, from court cases to play dates, from politics to debauchery, Don’t Be Dumb has a lot to say, and, with such wildly diverse production at play, it often struggles to keep a consistent narative going. When Rocky is in his comfort zone, he’s a good as he’s ever been. But when he tries on new styles, it’s like a suit that’s in desperate need of a good tailor – it’s not a clean fit.
Don’t Be Dumb winds up being a decent return to form, but the ASAP series definitely deserves another season. There’s a better story to tell.
Best tracks: “Helicopter,” “Whiskey (Release Me),” “Stop Snitching”
3.5 stars out of 5
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