Love Letters: What’s an Acceptable Age Gap While Dating?

Hey look, it’s the first love letters of 2023!

Since we’re slow on album releases at the moment and there are no new reviews on the horizon, I figured we’d dip into the ol’ inbox to see what’s going on in Love Land.

Here’s how you can join in.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Word on the streets is Dicaprio is 48 dating a 19-year-old, is that cool?

Shocked and confused

Hold on a minute, playa. Before y’all get me sued, let’s clear the air.

The guy behind your favorite pointing meme

Was recently photographed with 19-year-old model Eden Polani. And because Twitter can’t WAIT to gather up think piece content, the OUTRAGE of a 48-year-old hooking up with a legal-but-still teenager had the timeline on fire.

Except it’s since been debunked. They ain’t dating.

Yeah, y’all like that meme too.

But the question still remains – what IS the cutoff age for dating outside your generation? Of course the real answer is IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, but again, that’s not the world we live it. It’s our constitutional right to judge strangers.

It’s 80% of this site’s content, after all.

But for the sake of argument, let’s discuss. Yes, a 19-year-old is legally free to date an octogenarian (look it up), or any adult for that matter. But obviously, there’s a very real issue of power dynamics in play, especially if that older person is in a place of authority or has financial power over the younger person.

To me, though, the key issue is much closer to earth, and could be a deal breaker no matter the age gap:

What do you have in common with the person? Besides sexual attraction?

It’s hard enough to find a meaningful connection with someone your own age, let alone when you’re a working adult hooking up with someone who was in the 11th grade when COVID first hit.

And that’s what y’all keep missing. In an era where we judge everything by numbers – who has the most streams, who has the most followers, what year your birthday falls on – we miss the MEANING behind the numbers.

It’s not about the digits. It’s about the maturity.

Maturity can’t be measured by numbers. Trust me, there are 40-year-olds wandering these streets with minds of toddlers. That’s where the discussions should center. Whether your new boo is 5 years younger than you or 25, it’s the maturity that has to match up.

No, I’m not necessarily advocating for a seemingly mature 19-year-old to date an allegedly mature 48-year-old. I know I couldn’t do it – imagine me hooking up with some girl who record Tik Toks about how her favorite movie is The Last Skywalker set to the sounds of Blueface.

I’m just advocating that we focus on being a mature match for your partner. Someone who can understand, relate to and support your goals, dreams, aspirations, career and family values.

I’m also advocating for y’all to mind your own business.

Question No. 2:

Hey Edd just wanted to get some things off my chest. I’ve always been attracted to bad girls since they make me feel they are hot, edgy and exciting even though they reject me. Good girls have always rejected me coz I’m apparently boring to them. How do I solve this issue?

Looking for Mrs Right

Speaking of Mrs. Right, a reminder that song is, as the children say, still a bop.

But let’s help this homie out.

On the surface, this looks like two Ls – bad girls ain’t rolling with you, and the good girls think you’re dull.

But here’s the problem – you’re boxing every woman you’ve ever met into one of two categories. The real world don’t work like that, my G. “Bad girls” aren’t rejecting you and “good girls” aren’t rejecting you – a handful of women rejected you.

And there’s WAY more people on this planet than however many girls you’ve tossed into those two categories.

As men, we’ve stereotyped ourselves into thinking that women like one type of dude, some chiseled but witty slice of perfection who is probably a former criminal but now has a heart of gold.

Basically Channing Tatum from the Magic Mike movies.

But it’s never that deep. In the words of my own wife, “we just want a man who treats us well and isn’t annoying.”

Trying to adapt your persona to fit some arbitrary label you slap on a woman ain’t it. The solution is much simpler – keep being a good dude until someone comes along who really appreciates it.