Love Letters: Were We Wrong to Skip a Destination Wedding During COVID?

WELL, LOOK HERE! Love Letters are back!

Honestly, they never went anywhere. It’s been a busy summer over here in Soul In Stereo Studios and I haven’t had a chance to dive into Cupid’s inbox for *checks calendar* four months!

Hope y’all haven’t contacted the divorce lawyers in my absence. Let’s catch up on a few questions today.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

My friend invited me and a few mutual friends to her destination wedding during the peak of COVID. Obviously we couldn’t make it. Well, that friend was upset and cut us off. She’s recently come back to apologize.

Were we wrong to attend? Was she wrong to cut us off? Should we accept the apology?

The Wedding Skippers

Back when I got married – in those beautiful days before Twitter and auto-tune rappers – I told my guests this: If you can’t come to my wedding, that’s cool. Just don’t SAY you’re coming and no-show. ESPECIALLY if you’re in the wedding party. That Lauryn Hill energy will throw the whole ceremony out of whack.

Of course we had a few knuckleheads in the wedding party who DID no-show. And I hope their credit score goes lower than a Lil Jon hit in 2002.

I’ll save my personal slander for another time but, in defense of y’all’s bride-friend, I understand the crushing amount of stress that comes with wedding prep and the disappointment that hits when you realize your crew won’t be there to share in that monumental moment.

To be mad that your friends aren’t able to travel to some far-off location while everyone’s money is extremely funny DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC is just a tad bit unreasonable.

Yes, she was wrong to cut y’all off and she knows that. That’s why she’s trying to make amends.

Should you accept her apology? My instinct says yes. As I’ve outlined above, wedding stress is a different kind of anxiety. It makes fools of us all. As long as she didn’t slash your tires or pummel your 4-year-old daughter or claim that Jacquees is the king of R&B – you know, something DOWNRIGHT UNFORGIVABLE – I say she’s worthy of a little grace.

I know the move in 2022 is NEVER FORGIVE ANYONE FOR ANYTHING EVER (unless you like the person, then FORGIVE THEM FOR EVERYTHING ALWAYS) but this spat isn’t worth killing a friendship over.

Showing forgiveness ain’t weakness, y’all. Anyone who can admit they messed up is good money in my book. Show ’em love.

Unless they’re a Jacquees fan.

Question No 2:

Mr. Bowser, this is a very, very important question that must be settled in my relationship: Who gets control of the aux cord when driving?

Shut Up and Drive

Ah, the eternal question. Many a relationship has dissolved over a raggedy playlist.

The rules in my car are simple – whoever is driving controls the aux. Yes, it might suck for the passenger (I’m just returning from a 6-hour road trip; my wife did most of the driving so I was forced to listen to Beyonce’s horsey album about four times on repeat…) but since the driver is doing the majority of the work, they get the majority of the perks.

But if you want to avoid listening to City Girl’s Greatest Hits (all two songs) while your boo is behind the wheel, there’s a simple solution – engage an actual CONVERSATION. In my experience, it makes time move faster, keeps the driver more alert and saves your ears from garbage.