Love Letters: Can Open Marriages Work?

Sometimes there’s a breaking news story and I say to myself “wonder how long it will take before someone sends a Love Letters about this?”

I didn’t have to wait long.

Here’s how you can send questions too!

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So what are your thoughts on Will and Jada Smith’s alleged open marriage and August Alsina? Do you think August is telling the truth? And are open marriages a good idea?

Not Willow or Jaden

THIS again?

I swear every two years or so social media “rediscovers” Will and Jada’s long-alleged open marriage and has a meltdown. There have been rumors of this since the early 00s, when Will outright admitted publicly that he was thirsting after Eva Mendes while filming Hitch.

If I admitted that I was sex-staring at my coworkers, my soul would be writing this post because my wife would have beaten my body into Reese’s pieces.

But hold on, I’ve got more reciepts.

Back in 2013, Jada told the Huffington Post: “I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay.’ Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”

There was also a weird interview with Howard Stern a few years later that she reiterated that she’s not her husband’s “watcher.”

But later, in an infamous Facebook post, she contradicted that cryptic talk: “Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.”

So do the Smiths REALLY have an open marriage?

I guess the real answer is: WHO CARES.

For those not caught up on the latest edition of Raunchy Table Talk, meh R&B artist August Alsina claims that he and Jada have long been hooking up, with Will’s blessing.

I don’t know if he’s lying, but I DO know he has an album to sell. If not for this media blitz, y’all would have missed that. I been peeped game there.

However, this back and forth with Alsina is exactly why I think open marriages are a dumb idea. Marriage is defined as a partnership. You can rewrite the rules all you want, but once you start inserting add extra bodies to the mix, that partnership gets frayed.

Let’s say for the sake of argument that the Smiths DO have an open marriage and have been passing Alsina around like hand sanitizer. While I think it’s very unwise to judge relationships by public perceptions (you never know what’s really going on behind closed doors), we do know the Smiths have been married uninterrupted for more than 20 years. There is longevity there. That marriage could now be threatened, thanks to Alsina – who clearly is infatuated with Jada – airing their laundry. He caught feelings and is now rattling their relationship AND their paychecks, since Jada has become Facebook’s den mother with her Red Table series.

No matter how quiet you keep things, no matter how many “rules” are in place, adding an extra body to a situation breaks the bonds, trust and stability of marriage.

You can go have Big Sexy Fun all you want.

But. It’s. Not. Gonna. Work. Sorry.

I don’t really care if the Smiths have an open marriage, and neither should you. I might personally think it’s a bad idea but it’s between consenting adults and not illegal. That’s why I don’t buy these sob stories from the Twitterverse about the Smiths “taking advantage” of Alsina. That man is nearly 30 years old, he’s not some toddler. And, if true, he admitted that all parties were cool with the situation. He was not held captive in the Smith sex dungeon – he allegedly fooled around with a married woman, caught feelings, then ran and snitched. Playa, she’s not leaving freaking WILL SMITH for you.

If you’re a fan of the Smiths who is disappointed that the perception of their perfect lives has been tarnished, well, that’s on you. Trust me, in this world of social media stuntin’, nothing is as flawless as it seems. Celebrities are just as weird and screwed up as we all are.

Allegedly, of course.