Love Letters: Why Do People Take Relationships For Granted? Just ask Robin Thicke.

Playa I take a few weeks off from doling out love advice and my queue of questions grows 100-fold. If I haven’t gotten to yours yet, hang in there. I’ll answer it soon.

In the meantime, here’s how you can add to my pile.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

In light of Robin Thicke running around town pathetically begging Paula Patton for her forgiveness, why is it that it takes a man’s woman leaving him to make him into the man that she has always wanted?

Tired of Games

Similar to the mighty Samson, when Thicke lost his long locks, he also lost his strength.

And apparently, he also lost his good sense.

I’m still not convinced that this whole pitiful Paula passion play (alliteration!) isn’t just some ill-advised marketing strategy. What I do know is that the Paula album is an abysmal failure. (Peep the review). He only sold 530 copies of his album in the UK. 530 copies! My high school band sold more than 530 candy bars for their fundraisers! Thicke needs to do better.

But enough about Thicke’s inherent wackness.

The answer to your question is simple: Why do y’all wait until company comes over to clean your filthy houses? Why do you suddenly decide to take your jobs seriously a week before your performance evaluation? It’s the same reason we mistreat our loved ones, yet whine and moan when they leave – we take our blessing for granted until it’s crunch time. THEN we suddenly want to get our acts together.

We’d save a lot of time, energy and heartbreak if we cherished what we had from the start, not make up for lost ground after the fact.

And don’t get me wrong – we all make mistakes. I’m big on forgiveness. Don’t sit around acting like you’ve never slipped up. I’ve seen some of y’all’s Instagram accounts.

Don’t wait until your blessing walks out of the door before you decide to embrace it. Lord knows we don’t need another Paula album.

Next question!

Is it cool for ex’s to still hang out with the other’s families like they are still part of the family? Does it not become awkward when the other moves on and begins to bring their new love around?

All In The Family

At first glance I thought this question was kinda absurd – why would you want to hang around your ex’s family so you can be belittled every moment?

Then I realized that if I broke up with the wifey, I’d miss her family terribly. They’re MY family now.

Still, if you broke up with your ex, you kinda have to break up with their family too. Sure you can be cordial – don’t defriend them on all your little social media doohickies – but constantly hanging around the ex-fam might send mixed messages. Grandma n’ dem might see your loitering around the house as a sign that the relationship is on the mend. And as you mentioned, things will get really awkward if a new love shows up.

It’s cool too keep in touch with your ex’s family if you were very close, but be cautious. The more people you drag into your breakup, the more drama you’ll encounter. That’s true in every walk of life.