DJ Khaled proposes to Nicki Minaj: The Day the World Stopped Turning

Remember where you were at this very moment.

It’s the moment when DJ Khaled brought on the apocalypse. From MTV.com:

On Thursday, the charismatic hitmaker proposed to his YMCMB labelmate Nicki Minaj in front of our MTV News cameras. “Nicki Minaj, I’m at MTV, I’m going to be honest with you; I love you,” Khaled said to the camera….

Khaled had a lot to get off his chest, first telling Nicki how he feels about her, before he popped the big question: “Nicki Minaj, will you marry me?”

Can you imagine what the kids will look like? Probably a bunch of Muppets in Walmart tracksuits.

Now before Drake starts picking out bridesmaids dresses and Rick Rawse starts eating the wedding reception planning the wedding reception, you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

There are just two words that came to mind when y’all started flooding my timelines with this “news.” And it wasn’t “I do.”

It was “publicity stunt.”

Remember when Rawse supposedly proposed to Foxy Brown? Better yet, remember when Drake proposed to Nicki? I wonder what he thinks of this, anyway?

Image via

His tears are made of blue raspberry Kool-Aid.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know, Khaled has an album dropping soon. What a coincidence. Remember the days when rappers dropped hot songs to create buzz for their projects, instead of, you know, baiting TMZ with phony matrimony?

And before y’all say, “How do you know this is a stunt? He could be sincere!” let me introduce you to my best friend, Grown Man Logic. When I proposed to my wife, it was in an intimate setting. It was all about her. I didn’t make a YouTube vid (in which my girl wasn’t even featured, mind you) that basically serves as a commercial for the 100 zillion dollar ring I bought.

And if this IS a legit proposal (playa please), it’s 32 flavors of lame. His “proposal” sounded more like a guy trying to spit game to a Walgreens clerk than true sincerity. I don’t have much hope for this union.

As usual, Khaled is all mouth, no substance. Don’t get caught up in this false hype.

But hey, I’m writing about this non-news item, so I guess I lose too.

Ugh, I need to do better.