Jermaine Jackson’s Name Change Ain’t a Game Changer

I still mourn the loss of The Notorious B.I.G. He was the most quotable rapper ever. Here’s one of my favorite lines, from “Victory:”

Real sick, brawl nights, I perform like Mike
Anyone — Tyson, Jordan, Jackson

If you had one of the three most recognizable last names in pop culture, quoted by the rap titan himself, what would you do?

If you’re Jermaine Jackson, and lack common sense, you’d change it. From TMZ.com:

Jermaine Jackson has filed a request to legally CHANGE his last name … trading out “Jackson” for “Jacksun” … TMZ has learned.

Jermaine filed a petition for a change of name with L.A. County Superior Court yesterday asking for the change in nomenclature.

In the docs, Jermaine says he wants to make the change for “artistic reasons” … but he does not give any further details about the move.

I remember back in the 80s when it seemed like Jermaine was one of the more sane members of the Jackson clan. Clearly that’s not true. This is the dude who named his son Jermajesty. I guess JerMAMA was taken.

I guess this news officially makes Rebbie the only sane member of the Jackson clan. Yes, the woman who sang about the human “Centipede” 25 years before that gross movie was released. Truly a trailblazer.

But back to Mr. Jacksun. The angel on my shoulder says that this change could be a way for Jermaine to distance himself from the family and stand on his own. But the devil on my shoulder tells the angel to stop being so naive and keeps it real: This isn’t reinvention, it’s a cry for attention.

Jermaine is nearly 60 years old and hasn’t had a decent song since “Don’t Take It Personal” in the ’80s. Half of you reading this blog right now weren’t even BORN when that dropped. He doesn’t even release music anymore, why does he need to change his name for “artistic reasons?” At this point, all he has is his name that S-curl.

Remember a couple of years ago when Amerie changed her name to Ameriie and went blonde? Of course you don’t. Jermaine’s name change likely will end up like hers – a weird social media topic for a couple of days, then everyone will forget and use the old spelling. In the case of Amerie/Ameriie, it distracted from a very promising career. For Jermaine, I don’t know, I guess it distracts us from his hair.

I’ve always wondered – is his hair soft? Hard? Wet? Dry? I don’t know. But if I meet him, I won’t ask if I can touch it. Never ask to touch a black person’s hair. I learned that from the wifey.

I can only think of one instance in the history of music when a name change actually worked. And no I’m not talking about P. Sean John Puffy Diddy Daddy. He has so many names no one knows what to call him.

Nah, I’m talking about this dude:

2 Chainz is way better than his old name, Tity Boi. When 2 Chainz is a benchmark for success, you know things are bad.

Y’all can call Jermaine Jacksun if you want. I’ll stick with the classic version. And if you don’t like it, well, JerMAMA.