Love Letters: Why Is Chivalry Dead?

You know you’re in for a treat when I IMMEDIATELY hop on my soapbox and start tap dancing like Gregory Hines.

One of my boys just shared the following site with me: Supermanket.com. It fancies itself as a “virtual supermarket where women are the clients and men are the products.”

Men can register as Flavors “intellectual, artist, etc.,” Packaging “rocker, hip hop head, etc.” and Bonus Pack “smoker, muscular, etc.” Then women can “purchase” the man that suites their tastes.

If you’re a woman who just said to herself “That’s a great idea!” LOG OFF NOW.

So we’re literally treating people like canned goods now? According to this site, I should register as a “intellectual hip hop head jack of all trades.” First, what does that even mean? And second, this playa is way deeper than a handful of random descriptions.

And I won’t even get on the double standard – if this was a site where MEN were the clients and WOMEN were the products, y’all would be beating down Oprah’s door claiming that women were being objectified.

UGH – I’m gonna go take my blood pressure pills. In the meantime, hit me up with your love questions.

Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Why does it seem like chivalry is dead?

KJ

Remember that episode of Family Guy when megalomaniac baby Stewie finally killed his mom Lois? Everyone mourned her death until she inexplicably popped back up to take revenge.

Chivalry ain’t dead, it’s just laying low, waiting to return with a Rambo headband to kick the crap out of its oppressors!

Well…maybe not the second part. Chivalry has been buried alive, but it’s still breathing.

The question is, what happened to chivalry? Well, at some point, society deemed it irrelevant.

Exhibit A: Women don’t want it (or so they say). This comes from the mouths of some of my own female friends. In the age of The Independent Woman, many say they don’t want “preferential” treatment and just want to be treated “equally.” Of course, that’s the woman’s prerogative, but chivalry goes much deeper than that.

Exhibit B: Men aren’t taught it. There was a time where chivalry was synonymous with manhood. It was part of what we learned growing up. But in this era where youtube is teaching young men morality, instead of chivalry we get this:

DON’T STOP POP THAT DON’T STOP. It IS catchy…

Exhibit C: No one expects it. It saddens me when my wife says I’m the only man who consistently opens the car door for her. Thanks to Exhibits A and B, chivalry has become a lost art.

What can we do to bring it back? Heck if I know. We can start by teaching young men to reincorporate it in their lives, and to teach young women to welcome it. Chivalry should be a way of life, not a treat for a special occasion or a way to suck up to women.

Trust me, there are a few guys out there who exhibit chivalry daily. Give them their props – they’re the last of a dying breed.

On that depressing note, it’s time for a bonus question.

Do you agree that the ones who run away from commitment are the ones who deep down want it?

MJ

Sorry, playa, if they’re running from commitment, in my eyes, deep down they DON’T want it. At least not now. You can’t compare life to A Different World, where a guy runs from his lover, gets a pep talk from a best friend, and then runs back to crash the wedding of their ex so he can profess his undying love and steal the bride.

Question that has bothered me for years: Why didn’t the groomsmen just BEAT DOWN Dwayne Wayne when he disrupted the wedding? MY groomsmen would have.

Of course, things can change and that commitment track star could reconsider his/her ways. But if that person is not ready to settle, I wouldn’t waste my time or energy trying to play psychoanalyst until he or she decided to refocus on a relationship.