Love Letters: The Most Important Relationship Factor

Man, cupid must be harpooning the crap out of y’all. The Love Letters inbox is bursting with questions. If you’ve submitted one, sit tight – I promise to get to them all soon.

And if you’d like to add a query to my massive pile, feel free.

Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.  

Here’s today’s question:

Why do people act like sex is not the most important part of a relationship when in reality it is a big part?

DC

Um, playa, maybe they act like that cuz it’s not the most important part of a relationship.

A big mistake people make when seeking their dream lover (word to Mariah Carey) is fixating on just one character trait. Especially superficial traits.

Ladies, if you want a man with money, just holla at him:

Image via

Want a man with brains? I got your dude:

Looking for a man with F.A.M.E. and prestige? You might end up with him:

Stuck on a man’s looks? Try this one:

Now, that’s a mighty fine man, I must say.

In all the above cases, focusing on just one aspect of their character ignores a multitude of flaws. (Expect for that last guy. He’s pretty flawless.) That tunnel vision will get you in big trouble down the line.

Yeah, sex is an important part of a committed relationship (all you freaks out there should notice the word “committed”) but it’s FAR from the biggest piece of the puzzle. It should fit equally with less tangible elements – commitment, compassion, drive, faith. Map out all the characteristics you want in your dream guy and weed out the silly, superficial ones. Focus on finding the total package instead of a travel-size snack pack.

And sorry ladies, that smooth brother above is spoken for.