Edd’s MANtra: Ultimate Dogfight

The wife and I just marked two months here in Birmingham, Ala. And while I’ll admit I have the sense of direction of a blind squirrel, I think I’m doing a pretty good job of getting around town.

Need some stamps from the post office, I gotcha. Wanna run by Wal-Mart? It’s all good. How about a quick trip to Kinko’s to check your e-mail? Yep, I can get you there. In fact I’ve spent WAY too much money in that place. At $2.50 per fax, I be makin’ it rain up in Kinkos.

I hope my next trip will be to the Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex December 12. Why, you ask? Because your our favorite demented rapper DMX will be making his mixed martial arts debut!

Don’t believe me? Courtesy xxlmag.com:

Dubbed the Alabama Pride MMA, the match is set to take place on December 12 at the Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex. X will be squaring off against an “up-and-coming actor” named Eric Martinez, according to tmz.com, in the celebrity fight portion of the night.

X’s publicist told XXLMag.com that the MC is rejuvenated and excited about taking part in the fight. “It’s all in good fun,” she said. “Over the last six months he has been living a very healthy lifestyle, a lifestyle that consists of hitting the gym every single day and eating healthy. He looks great and he feels incredible. This is the perfect opportunity for him to show his fans it’s the return of X.”

This is all part of DMX’s comeback, which started with his appearance on Jadakiss’ “Who’s Real” remix. I’m down with X resuming his rap career. I’m not with X getting his head smashed in. I’m sure that DMX can hold his own with any old wino on the corner but MMA fighters are a different breed.

Then again, DMX probably has that crazed crackhead strength. Why do you think it takes like 10 cops to hold down a 90 pound heroin addict? And when you add that to the fact that DMX considers himself some half-man/half-dog werewolf thing, he might be able to pull this thing off. I’ll be rooting for him.

I just hope he doesn’t wind up looking like this at the end of the fight…