I don’t know about you playas, but I’m ready to put 2025 in my rear view.
I can’t think of a year in my lifetime filled with more chicanery, buffoonery and downright criminal activity masquerading as altruism.
2025 is the year y’all let them CONSTANTLY play in our faces. And December is the time of year when we call them out.
Yep, the Playa Please Awards are back to depress you by reminding you about the 12 months of stupidity we just endured. But don’t worry, we’ll take these miserable moments as life lessons so we won’t repeat the mistakes next year, right?
RIGHT?????????
As always, for the livelihood of my day job, I stay out of the political playa please moments (for the most part – there’s one I absolutely can’t ignore). Like a greedy kid with a bag of Cheetos, I wipe my hands of orange matters.
That aside, there’s plenty more to rant about. Here are the 10 moments that really set me off, word to Cleo and Stony.
10. What’s Beef? Not this.
I almost didn’t insert this because it’s more Impossible burger than actual beef, but there was one definite Playa Please moment that must be pointed out.
So Omar Gooding and Cam’ron have been throwing silly jabs at each other for months. Cam’ron complained about actors “like Omar Gooding Jr.” sitting around waiting for paydays. Omar took offense, mainly at Cam’ron for confusing Sweetpea for “Show me da money” Cuba Gooding Jr. This resulted in mild insults and goofy diss tracks – two bored 4th graders entertaining themselves, basically.
It came to a head this summer when Gooding was booked for a movie – that wasn’t real. Cam dropped $3,500 to cover Gooding’s flight, hotel, and other expenses, only for him to show up for a fake booking.
While the Internet celebrated Cam as some Machiavellian master troller, Omar pointed out the first thing I said when I heard about this nonsense – Cam basically paid for Omar to have a mini vacation.
Cam’ron is not Walter White. He’s Betty White. Thank him for being a friend!
How can *I* get on Cam’s enemies list so he can send me on a work trip to an island WITH NO WORK? If this is how he treats his enemies, I wonder what he does for his friends – I guess that’s why everyone wanted to be in Dipset in 2003. Pink Nokia flip phones for everybody!
9. They Are the Drama
It wouldn’t be a Playa Please Awards if a few Pink Wigs weren’t snatched. And while I won’t speak directly on Icki Garbaj’s newfound, ahem, political aspirations (an artist with a huge LGBTQ following backing a cause that heavily criticizes that community is … quite a choice) I WILL continue to prove that she’s an unhinged bully. And sadly, Cardi isn’t much better in this situation.
Because Cardi B committed the cardinal sin of being a woman who dropped a rap album, Nicki decided to throw rocks at her eternal foe for no good reason. Icki Nicki called Cardi’s children “monkeys and roaches,” Cardi responded by inferring that Nicki’s son is developmentally disabled, and lots more nonsense that I’m too grown to type here.
This is what happens when parents are raised by wifi and the Zeus network.
Now, they have both since apologized, but I’ll bet a copy of Roman Reloaded that I refuse to own that they’ll be back at each other’s throats by St. Patrick’s Day.
Ladies, stay off those apps and get in the booth. Cuz it’s been a long time since I’ve given either of you more than 3.5 stars for your albums.
8. Decommission Lil Boat
In case you needed more proof that Lil Yachty’s brain is as smooth as a bowling ball made of Jell-O, peep this lyric:
“Put my knee up on her neck, I went George Floyd”
No cultural awareness, no common sense, no home training. And much like the artist himself, that bar is completely wack.
This is the same amoeba who brought us brilliant bars like “f*** her on the balcony where MLK died” and “Turned your mother into a pedophile, bet she wanna f*** me,” so yeah.
Get Chris Hansen, Dr. Umar and Jesus of Nazarth on the mainline ASAP
7. Jermaine Jackson: Just for (Blind) Men
Is … that a hairline or is he wearing a hoodie?
It’s a like a Sharpie marker made a wish to be a real boy.
6. Watch the Groan
I’m no fan of Elon Musty, but can we sign up Kanye West for his next Mars expedition so we don’t have to hear from this guy again?
As usual, he spent the year eating his own boogers, just so he can get attention from the kids on the playground. Needlessly dissing Kendrick Lamar and Tyler, the Creator, parading his ex around at the Grammys practically naked, but worst of all, he followed in the embarrassing footsteps of Nicki and Cardi and, for no reason at all, insulted the children of Jay Z and Beyonce.
The same Jay he lovingly called Big Brother. The same Bey he infamously defended during the MTV Awards fiasco.
I won’t say what he called those kids, but it’s as ugly as those clothes he convinced y’all to buy.
In Kanye fashion, he originally apologized for the comments but later doubled down with DJ Akademiks, claiming that they were in fact “the best. Or the strongest” takes he’s ever made.
I don’t want to hear any of y’all claiming, “oh but he’s mentally ill.’ Mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility. I have several family members who battle mental illness, and not one have publicly attacked their friends’ kids while a bunch of braindead stans egg them on.
And that last part is what gets me hot – Kanye does everything for a reaction. Every booger he plucks and waves in front of his classmates is a cry for attention. The more y’all laugh and say “but he made great albums 15 years ago,” the more snot we have to deal with.
Bring back shame and ban the booger eaters.
5. (Label) Politics As Usual
Kendrick and Clipse vs Drake is the beef that will never end. And Aubrey continues to take more Ls than a lackadaisical llama listening to LL’s “Luv U Better” and “Hey Lover.”
Pusha T revealed in an interview that Clipse’s album Let God Sort Em Out was set to drop a year ago via Def Jam, which included the track “Chains and Whips,” featuring Kendrick Lamar. UMG, who owns Def Jam, got cold feet about Aubrey’s enemies linking up on the same track, and worried ol Canada Dry would throw a fit.
As a result, Clipse and Pusha’s solo contracts were mutually canceled at Def Jam, Let God Sort Em Out dropped on Roc Nation in 2025 and now reigns as album of the year.
Let me get this straight: UMG/Def Jam – a hip-hop label – was scared of a hip-hop battle. The label that gave you battlers like LL Cool J, DMX, Jay Z, Nas and suddenly wants to keep it Kidz Bop. In case y’all forgot, hip-hop was built on competition, the same competition that fueled the biggest acts that built that label. See what happens when the boardroom interferes with the culture?
It worked out well for Kendrick, who cemented himself as rap’s No. 1 star, and Clipse, who had a comeback for the ages. And Aubrey? He dropped a forgettable album filled with robotic lullabies and spent the year hurling lawsuits around.
When Nicki called Cardi’s kid a Kulture Vulture, I think she meant Drake.
4. No, Boy
2025 was a bad year for the Dipset. Cam’ron funding Omar Gooding’s personal vacation, as we discussed above, Jim Jones still jumping around, waving his arms screaming “look at me, look at me!” while trying to bait Clipse into a battle, and now chronic underachiever Juelz Santana is giving business advice.
During a podcast appearance, Juelz claimed “Kids need to learn how to start businesses, they don’t need to learn how to read.” And before y’all say I took that out of context, he stuck his whole kneecap in his mouth along with foot, saying that math is more important than reading, you don’t need to read when audiobooks exist, and when someone pointed out that musicians need to read their contracts, he replied “there are apps for that.”
And you wonder how artists have been robbed blind for generations.
I know I shouldn’t expect much from a man who once claimed he was “flyer than an ostrich” (proving he knows nothing about books OR birds) but come on playa.
How do you build a vocabulary, how do you build knowledge, how do you learn THAT AN OSTRICH CAN’T FLY without reading comprehension? And this is coming from an artist whose entire livelihood is built around literacy and the turning of phrases!
Defund Juelz Santana and defund podcast microphones, I’ve heard ENOUGH.
3. Don’t Panic. (Actually, You Should)
Imagine you’re in a swanky box at a Coldplay concert, you’ve guzzled way too many High Noons and you (the head of HR at your company) decide to cuddle up with your coworker (the BOSS of the same company) only to be the next contestant on that Summer Jam screen. Literally.
Thanks to a way too convenient kiss cam, Kristin Cabot and her boss Andy Byron instantly became America’s most infamous cheaters. Even Chris Martin joked from stage that they might be having an “affair.” No bro code for that guy.
Of course, we got some damage control in the fallout – both Cabot and Byron were said to be separated from their spouses, with Cabot’s husband allegedly at the SAME concert with another woman.
And y’all try to claim that Black relationships are messy.
But credit where it’s due, Cabot admitted that she was wrong and it screwed up both their careers. But here’s my thing – have we learned NOTHING from the cheating anthems of the past?
Counselor, T-Boz, take the floor, please:
“So I creep, yeah, Just **keep it on the down low, nobody is supposed to know”**
Let’s forget the cameras: How exactly does cuddling your boss IN PUBLIC at a massive concert “keep it on the down low?” How is “nobody supposed to know” when at least everyone in that box does?
Is it the privilege or is it the High Noons? Y’all don’t even know how to cheat properly.
Not that I would know. Don’t know if you heard but Black Men Don’t Cheat.
2. Diddy Dirty Deeds
2025 was a rough year if you’re a fan of P Diddler, but for all of us who knew better, 2025 gave us the four sweetest words in the English language:
We
Told
You
So
Still, despite Netflix tell-alls, countless personal accounts from colleagues and former friends, and ACTUAL VIDEO EVIDENCE of his heinous acts, Puff still slips out of the stickiest situations. Gross pun intended.
That’s why in July, after Puff’s acquittal on major charges – like sex trafficking and racketeering – his supporters celebrated outside of the court by dousing themselves in baby oil.
🤮Diddy supporters pouring baby oil on each other in front of the trial courtroom to celebrate the recent verdict. pic.twitter.com/Js5iY83Scc
— Truthseeker (@Xx17965797N) July 3, 2025
America is a live action Boondocks episode.
OK, look, let’s say you’re one of the 12 people on Earth (with 12 brain cells in your head) who believes that Puff is an angelic businessman who is 100% innocent and this is all an elaborate setup. Exactly what do you gain by greasing up with Johnson’s baby oil and spinning around like a rotisserie chicken? You think you’re gonna get access to the next All White Party? Is Puff gonna hand deliver that Best of Donnie Klang compilation to your doorstep?
Or, OR, did you just make a mockery of every survivor of abuse and prove why so many women (and men!) prefer to suffer in silence than tell their truths.
Freak all the way off with that BS.
1. Allen Iverson is the only AI I acknowledge
Y’all won’t like this one, but if you made it this far in the list without smearing feces all over my lawn, I might as well give you one last reason to be pissed off:
AI is the gateway to creative collapse.
I’m not saying AI doesn’t have its benefits – it can be fun and useful in the right hands – but if it’s one thing I know – it’s Keith Sweat’s discography. And if it’s two things I know, it’s human nature. And somethin’ somethin’ just ain’t right.
Chatgpt and AI tools are useful, but they’re also extremely convenient, and y’all know society loves a shortcut. So instead of labels searching for those hidden gems in our community, talent who have honed their gifts through years of practice, giving them a platform, teaming them with veteran artists and producers, developing a marketing plan and investing funds in a new musical megastar … we’ll just have a computer program do everything for us.
This year saw the first AI artist chart on Billboard and, because of course, it was the Adult R&B Airplay chart.
Because Black art is always the first to suffer.
I’m not even naming this “artist” because I don’t want y’all to give this “person” more streams.
Let’s just call her…
The real-life creator of Cita admitted in an interview that she’s not a singer, but there’s “a real person” behind that AI and that the lyrics she personally wrote comes from her real-life experiences.
Ma’am, that’s wonderful talent you have. Back in my day we called that SONGWRITING, and you could have a lucrative career from it. And here’s the crazy part: Your songwriting could be used to give ACTUAL LIVING SINGERS a chance to pursue their dreams.
The problem with AI is that it’s not creating music out of thin air. These programs pull from real-life existing vocals (WITHOUT the artist’s consent, BTW) to create the songs.
“Cita” is NOT a singer. She’s a composite of everyone else’s hard work – and y’all are giving accolades to the equivalent of a Tamagotchi instead of the humans that fuel it. It’s like thanking your microwave instead of your grandmother for that wonderful Christmas dinner she cooked up.
What’s worse is veterans who should know better – including my fave producer Timbaland – are jumping on the AI bandwagon to ensure they get a bag before the bubble bursts.
AI isn’t just taking career opportunities from real-life artists, it’s simultaneously stealing from their work too! Blocking you from employment while also digging in your pockets – the American dream, baby.
I know y’all love that AI tools can write your book report in 35 seconds and make goofy memes of MLK and JFK rapping “We Gonna Make It” or whatever – but the costs to our society (environmentally, fiscally and even culturally) won’t be as hilarious.
I tried to tell y’all about Drake. And Nicki. And Kanye. And Puff. I wasn’t wrong about them and I’m not wrong about this. AI artists are a threat to the creativity that makes music so beautiful.
We’re about to be living in Cita’s World.
That’s the biggest playa please of them all.
That’s all I can stand to discuss – share your worst moments of 2025 below.
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