Jem and The Hologram’s Best Songs

It’s been a long. long time since I’ve dropped some classic content for the 80s babies on the site, so I decided to pick up a project I’ve been hoping to finish for years – revisiting all the music from the classic 80s show Jem and the Holograms.

Now look, before one of you Neanderthals get your misogyny on and complain about a brother watching “a girls’ show,” let me keep it a buck:

I loved this girls’ show.

Jem was created by the same team that gave us G.I. Joe and Transformers, and while it was definitely targeted toward girls, it gave us the same action and bonkers storytelling of those other shows. And the show also featured some really catchy music, which we’ll revisit today.

For those too young to remember, allow me to explain the premise:

Jem told the story of bland Jerrica Benton, who used her dad’s technology (augmented reality before we knew the term!) to transform into pop sensation Jem, leader of the girl group The Holograms.  She’s basically sci-fi Hannah Montana.

She was constantly accosted by evil music executive Tommy Mottola Eric Raymond and his band, the demented Misfits, AKA, the best part of the show. Later on we got a third band, The Stingers, led by Riot, who spent most of his time trying to sleep with Jem.

And speaking of Jem, the show forced the world’s worst love triangle upon us with sad Rio. Jerrica keeps her Jem persona hidden from the world so bad guys wouldn’t  try to steal her dad’s tech. But for some reason this includes keeping her own boyfriend in the dark. To make matters worse, Jerrica, in Jem form, is constantly in Rio’s face tempting him, so poor Rio is torn between two women, not realizing that he’s being catfished by his own girlfriend!

This sounds like those relationship podcasts y’all watch.

Between the silly soap opera drama and the Misfits committing attempted murder every show, we got some really fun musical numbers – many of which hold up today.

… in a goofy 80s nostalgic kind of way.

Let’s look back at the 15 of the best, and see which band deserved to be at the top of the charts.

(And no, we don’t acknowledge that movie from 2015.)

15. The Misfits, “Love Sick”

This features our favorite maniac Pizzazz drooling over Stingers frontman Riot, who looks like he reeks of Aqua Net hairspray. Like most Misfits songs, the hook is super catchy, and incorporating Pizzazz’s heartbeat into the beat was kinda genius.

14. The Misfits, “Designing Woman”

For some reason, all the girlies were calling themselves “designing women” in this era. It was like the 80s version of a hot girl. So of course our girl Pizzazz had to stunt on y’all too. Song is just aight until the last 15 or so seconds, when Zazzy really starts snappin.

13. The Stingers, “Take It Or Leave it”

The Stingers weren’t around in the series very long, but they certainly made an impression. The song is very Morris Day and the Time, complete with absurdly vain lyrics.

12. Jem and the Holograms, “It Depends on the Mood I’m In”

The Holograms’ songs are straight-up teeth rotting, diabetes causing, Hubba Bubba bubblegum pop, but they’re so fun. This track comes from the same episode as the “Designing Woman” song. On the previous song, the Misfits are harassing the Holograms’ fashionista Shana, but on this one her friends give her some fashion forward inspiration. It’s dumb fun.

11. Jem and the Holograms, “She’s Got the Power”

For those new to the game, Synergy is the computer program that gives Jem her magical tech powers to do basically anything. She’s Vision from MCU if he dressed like an aerobics instructor. Here, she gets her very own song and it’s about time. Without her, there’s no show! The track classic 80s uptempo – perfect for running around the block with your leg warmers pulled up to your pelvis.

10. The Misfits, “It Takes a Lot to Survive”

The Misfits stayed on the Holograms’ necks. When Pizzazz hits that LIFE CAN BE SO HAAAAAAAARD, I felt that. The synths are truly synthing on this one, and I’m here for it.

9. The Misfits, “Making Mischief”

This is classic Misfits nonsense. I can understand if this veers into annoying territory for some. The Misfits loved to use bratty inflections in their vocal performances but I love it. When they say “MISSSSSS-CHIEF,” they sound lowkey demonic. The video is also ridiculous, as they just run around assaulting people for NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Imagine putting on your best fit for a cruise party and three big haired women just start throwing food at you. Why were these women never arrested?

8. The Stingers, “Perfect Match”

Morris Riot is at it again on this one, with another track that sounds like it was purified in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. Minx and Rapture are the real stars here – those background vocals are hittin. The Stingers didn’t give us very many songs, but this one is the best.

7. The Misfits “Universal Appeal”

A JAM. The keys are absolutely addictive and, as always, Pizzazz’s charisma is undeniable. She’s an egomaniac but it’s more endearing than revolting – pay attention, Kanye. Also, this is one of the best videos in the series, with Pizzazz rising up like Galactus to dance on top of the moon.

6. Jem and the Holograms, “Like a Dream”

This is one of the few songs I remember vividly from childhood, and that’s probably because it was played more than any other, besides the theme song. Britta Phillips, who performed as Jem on the show, puts in a memorable performance. It’s not something I’d throw in my Walkman but in the context of the show, it’s dope.

5. Jem and the Holograms, “Can’t Get My Love Together”

Y’all know I like a sappy 80s pop ballad, and this is one of the best the show has to offer. The song’s concept kinda gets on my nerves, though.  Yeah, we know your love life is in shambles, but that’s your own fault. Why are you playing digital games with your man for no reason? Cool song, even though Jerrica is a terrible girlfriend.

4. Jem and the Holograms, “I’ve Got My Eye on You”

HEY, BABE! In 2024 terms, this is a BOP, catchier than chicken pox at your kids’ day care. It’s wild to me that a 90 second song from a 40-year-old cartoon has infinitely more energy than anything on the Billboard charts today. I will say, though, the animation in this video is super stilted. It’s like a bunch of paper dolls on popsicle sticks bopping up and down.

3. The Misfits, “Congratulations”

“Congratulations” may be THE most infamous – and memorable – song from this show’s run. And before I made this list, I assumed it would be No. 1. Pizzazz, as usual, is hilarious in her delusion while the Misfits sound like little gremlins backing her up. But it works so well. It’s almost empowering if it wasn’t so psychotic. Ellen Bernfeld deserves a belated Grammy for the life she brought to Pizzazz’s vocals.

2. The Misfits, “I Like Your Style”

I totally forgot about this song until I was researching this post. IT. IS. A. BANGER. Pizzazz is the truth as always, but the real MVP is Jetta and her saxophone and as most of y’all know, I’m a sucker for a sax. This is way funkier than most Misfits songs – in fact, it feels more like a Stingers joint. But Riot can’t come close to Zazzy’s stage presence. Somebody put this on Spotify, I need it in my life regularly!

1. Jem and the Holograms, “Love Is Here”

I feel like I’m betraying my Misfits by giving the Holograms the top spot, but I gotta admit, this one stuck with me long after the video ended. Like most of Jem’s joints, it’s shmaltzy, starry-eyed 80s pop, but that’s why it’s so endearing. You can tell Britta loved hitting that note at the 1:04 minute mark. Flesh it out a bit and I could see this being a minor pop hit on non-animated airways circa 1985. It’s probably not the most memorable song from the series but, if you ask me, it’s the best.

Which Jem songs have stuck with you after all these years? Drop them and any Jerrica slander below!