Love Letters: Should You Mute or Unfollow Your Ex on Social Media?

Yes, y’all, Love Letters is STILL in session.

We took several weeks off from the Love Letters mailbag because I’m an adult and life is BUSY but the column hasn’t gone away. As long as y’all keep sending me stuff to fuss about, we’ll still keep it going.

And speaking of that …

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So I found out that my husband had been in a relationship with a young lady he went to high school with on Instagram.  I told him that if he wanted to try and rectify himself that he needed to unfollow her. He said he did. Now I find out from his cousin that he hasn’t unfollowed her, he has muted her. His cousin told on him because he said I deserved to know the truth. Now what the heck is muting someone on Instagram mean ??

N.W.

Oooh oooh, I can answer this because social media is my job!

If you “mute” someone you’re following on social media, their posts simply won’t show up on your timeline until you allow them. It’s like in 1998 when every radio station in Virginia would play Next’s “Too Close” at the EXACT SAME TIME – I’d just turn the volume all the way down and ride in silence until “Ruff Ryders Anthem” or “Angel or Disguise” or ANYTHING ELSE came on.

I’m still not over the Too Close Agenda of 1998. Stay woke.

So NW’s husband silenced his side piece, it should be all good, right? Welllll, here’s where I have a problem. He may have muted the posts but he didn’t unfollow ol’ girl, which tells me two things – he doesn’t want Miss Lady to know that he’s cutting her off and more importantly, he broke a promise to his wife.

Does he want to quietly keep things alive with this woman? Does he just not want to hurt her feelings? Honestly, it’s irrelevant because even with this “muting” stunt he’s putting the feelings of side piece over the wishes of his wife. You know, the person he vowed to love and respect and defend forever and ever, ah-men.

Muting is NOT the same as unfollowing. If he agreed to unfollow her, homie needs to live up to his word. Cuz this ain’t it.

Question No. 2:

Is it cool to like your best friend’s significant other’s picture if they take a selfie on social media? Is it even cool to follow your best friend’s significant other?

KS

Sometime I think y’all come up with all these unwritten social media rules just so you can then come up with loopholes to get around them.

Instead of making up weird rules, let’s just use what I’d like to call …

Common sense. Remember that?

REMEMBER THAT!?!?

If your best friend’s significant other is a great person, yes it’s fine to follow. If you’re following someone that posts a cool photo, makes solid points or shares a funny meme, yes you should be able to like or share them. Isn’t that the whole point of this social media?

Now, if you’re following your best friend’s significant other to “keep tabs,” to stir drama or to be a thirsty weirdo drooling all over their beach or workout pics, then NO, you shouldn’t be liking or following them in the first place.

It really ain’t hard y’all. It’s not about rules, it’s about recognizing what your true intentions are and not being a garbage human.