Love Letters: Are Divorce Parties Sending The Wrong Message?

July 24, 2014Edward BowserLove Letters, love life1

Love, marriage, divorce, man, we’re covering all the bases this week.

Hit me up if you want me to weigh in on your love life! It won’t cost you a thing, except a little pride if I start going off on y’all.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.

Here’s today’s question:

Divorce parties are the new craze. Do you think they are appropriate and in good fun or sending the wrong message?

No More Vows

So let your boy get this straight.

Y’all are already spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on weddings, and now you’re also spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on divorce parties too? I mean, it’s not like divorces are cheap anyway.

Y’all must love living in debt.

For the uninformed, allow me to fill you in: Divorce parties are billed as a the celebration of a fresh start – something a simple as a cookout with friends or as ridiculously extravagant as a credit-card crushing binge in Las Vegas. As Vows mentioned, they’re becoming much more common these days – no surprise when the American divorce rate was up to 2.4 million as of a couple of years ago.

In theory, I don’t have a problem with divorce parties. A divorce is a very trying process, and if a few friends want to get their buddy out of the house and lift his/her spirits, that’s cool. Divorce shouldn’t mean you have to cry in your pillow every night.However, I’m not here for the excessive extravagance of some of these parties, nor am I cool with the shaming of the ex. These parties shouldn’t include a trip to the shooting range with the ex’s photo as targets. Chill on the revenge plots, please.

If the divorce party simply exists to support a newly divorced friend during a tough transitional period, that’s cool. But keep the hate crimes to a minimum.

And also, the term “divorce party” sounds mad corny. But that’s just me.

Our girl KJ is next. She’s always in a predicament:

You approach a co-worker that you feel and is digging you and he tells you that he has his eye on someone else so you move on. Christmas comes and you all are Secret Santas with one another. You were told to give 3 things that you wanted that would be $20. He gets you a scarf, 3 CDs a DVD, perfumes and lip gloss. WITW? What do you think his issue is giving you “boo gifts” but he has his eye on someone else? Confused.

KJ

Good lord, that sounds like $150 worth of Secret Santa gifts! This brother is so thirsty that his eyeballs are drying up.This is an easy one, playa – despite what he says, this guy still has you in his sights and even though he’s allegedly pursuing other people, he wants to keep you at arm’s length. These “boo gifts” are a covert way of showing he’s interested, juuuuuuuust in case things don’t work out with Current Boo.

Now before y’all say, “he could be giving these gifts purely in the interest of friendship,” be real. I’ve long said that men and women can maintain platonic relationships but unless your friend is Scrooge McDuck, he’s not gonna arbitrarily drop THAT kind of cash on THAT many gifts without a specific purpose.

That purpose is keeping you happy and intrigued. Just in case.

Long story short, he wants to holla. Where you want to take that is up to you.

Just keep that in mind when you’re applying that lip gloss.