Love Letters: Dating Men With Kids

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Three things are certain in life – death, taxes and relationship drama.

I can’t help you with the first two but I’ll help you through that last issue. Just let a brother know what’s on your mind.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Is a woman 30 and up being too picky if she chooses not to deal with a man with children? 

Too old for drama

Thirty? Playa, when I was 20 I was hesitant to deal with a woman with kids. Not only was I not in any position to be anybody’s daddy, I didn’t want to risk getting close to a child only to dash out of his/her life if momma started tripping. As the ghetto poet Lyfe Jennings so eloquently put it:

Now he’s gotta tell that little girl a goodbye line
when he’s the only dad she’s ever had in her life
I don’t wanna take that chance please don’t take offense

it’s just the thought of hurting somebody that was innocent 

In every relationship, you need the foresight to see how things may develop in the future. And I wasn’t set to be a father. It was unfair to me and that child.

So no, I don’t think a woman of any age is being too picky if she doesn’t want to jump into a relationship with ready-made mouths to feed.

Keep in mind, though, I’m not saying she shouldn’t. I’m just saying I understand the hesitation.

If you want to start a relationship with a man who already has children, it’s all good. Just remember that as the relationship progresses, his kids become YOUR kids. That could be a great thing, if you’re up for the challenge. But if you’re not, you might wanna reconsider that relationship before you get in too deep.

Question No. 2:

Which sex is more tolerant of someone having children: Men or women?

Mommy dearest

Playa that’s like asking me which sex enjoys Little Debbie snack cakes more or which sex tends to be deeper in debt.

Actually there’s probably a correlation between kids and debt. Statisticians, get on that for me.

Anyway, it’s a case-by-case basis, homie. Some people are fine with their significant others having kids. Others are hesitant, mainly for the reasons we discussed above (along with the typical dramatic babydaddy/babymomma nonsense).

But again, I reiterate – starting a relationship with a single mother or father means also cultivating a relationship with their kids. If you can’t handle that, think twice before jumping in and out of the life of an innocent child.

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