Love Letters: Should Couples Be Friends First?

Prom season is here and apparently KFC has the perfect gift that will make you die from embarrassment. Literally. From heart disease.

Yes, for $20, you can have the greasiest prom date at the VWF hall.

Seriously, is there anyone out there gluttonous enough to think that fried food makes a fine fashion statement?

Image via

Oh yeah.

Here’s my advice for you prom kids – don’t wrap your wrists in chicken. Want more wisdom? Here’s how you can get it:

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Do you agree that you should be friends before you are lovers?

KJ

I do agree, but it’s a very fine line between building a foundation for a relationship and being sucked into the lonely vortex that is The Friend Zone.

My wife and I started out as friends, and not friends-with-benefits foolishness, either. That’s not a friendship, that’s an on-call booty service. We were friends in the truest sense – we spent time together, laughed and most importantly, we learned about each other. You know those “surprises” y’all encounter when you rush into relationships? Like the fact that your girl never has money for gas or your guy eats like a wild boar? We didn’t have that problem. We learned all those idiosyncrasies early on.

Of course, there can be problems with this route: Spend too long being buddies, or if your romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated, and you could wind up in the dreaded Friend Zone, cut off from any chance of a relationship.It’s worth the risk, though.

Take it from me, when your mate is your friend, life is a lot easier. And more fun too. Want a strong relationship? Build it like you would build a strong friendship. The love should blossom from there.

Question No. 2:

Should women give a man that they are dating money?

Purse Strings

How do you not bring in past hurts from previous relationships to present ones?

DW

Simply, you have to look at each relationship as a fresh start. It’s very easy for residual hurt to leak over into a new relationship. And don’t misunderstand a brother – you should carry those painful lessons with you. But they should be a learning experience, not a roadblock. Each person should be judged on their own merits. Every man is NOT a cheater. Every black woman is NOT pushy and overbearing.

Use those past hurts as a lesson personal growth, not as an excuse to punish the innocent. If you started a new relationship, there has to be something special about that person, right? Dwell on what he or she has to offer, not what he or she may become.