Love Letters: Having Babies While On A Break

It’s a new year, and for some of y’all it’s the same ol’ drama in your love lives.

My cup runneth over with entries for this column. Hold tight, I’ll answer ’em all soon enough.

In the meantime, here’s how you can get in on the action.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.   

Here’s today’s question:

If a couple is taking “a break” and they decide to get back together what should one of them do if while on said “break” one of them got pregnant by another man or he got another woman pregnant?

Surprised Stepmom

I think Gabrielle Union reads Soul In Stereo! What up boo!

Unless you’ve completely closed your ears to the latest embarrassments to black culture, you probably know that Gabby’s fiance Dwayne Wade fathered a love child while they were on break. Meanwhile, we learned that Ludacris stepped out on his longtime girlfriend to get some other woman pregnant.

Break babies. They’re what’s hot in the streets.

This is why I don’t believe in “taking breaks.” There’s way too much that could go wrong during the “break” period. When the couple reunites, the offender is held accountable for whatever weirdness when on while they were estranged, even though they technically weren’t in a relationship at the time.

“Taking breaks” is a cop-out. Either you’re in a relationship or you’re not. You can’t expect someone to wander off yet still be loyal to you. So totally end the relationship or stay together and tough out your problems.

But back to your question.

We spent so much time pointing fingers at couples that we neglect the real victim – the newborn baby. That baby can’t help that its parents are selfish and short-sighted. There’s a new life on this planet that needs to be raised.

If you re-establish a relationship with your break buddy, that means you take on all the baggage he or she occurred during the time off, including the baggage that wears Pampers. That time you both spent apart can’t be erased.

Here’s the bottom line – don’t go on break if you can’t deal with the consequences of that time off.

Cuz break babies are expensive. Ask Luda.

Question No. 2:

Why is it that the men in the 34-and-up age bracket are not looking for commitment and if they are they are dealing with women that are way too young for them?

KJ

I’m in that age bracket and, from my experience, that’s not always true. When I look at my male friends, there’s two schools of thought:

The dudes who are in their mid-30s, never really had a serious relationship and likely never will. They do tend to prey on younger women, but that’s because those women aren’t looking to settle down either. Plus, they like men who are somewhat established.

And then, there’s the dudes who are in their mid-30s and either just came out of a long-term relationship or are VERY EAGER for marriage. Those clingy brothers will be stuck all on you

I think you’ve been mostly dealing with the first set of guys I mentioned. But like most things in life, don’t try to predetermine someone’s personality based on the date on their driver’s license. There are plenty of 34-year-olds who aren’t weirdos.

Just don’t date my boys. They’re all insane.