Love Letters: Is It OK To Sleep With Someone On The First Date?
Before we stroll down lover’s lane once again, you might want to check out my latest column over on AL.com, the site that helps me keep the lights on at Bowser’s Castle.
I’ve got a lot of silly, unsolicited advice from friends and family regarding my so-called “nontraditional” marriage. They find it strange that I don’t demand my wife to have Thanksgiving dinner on my table every night or even consider me a pushover because my wife doesn’t behave like a trained puppy.
It’s ridiculous, mainly because the people with the biggest mouths are the ones complaining about how lonely they are.
My wife and I have individual aspirations and dreams. I allow her to pursue those dreams. That means I’d rather she be out changing the world than sitting in my house baking cookies.
Besides, whatever we do is our business, not what society thinks we should be doing.
Your relationships should be between you and your partner. Don’t fall into society’s pre-made traps.
And on that note of independence, allow me to tell you how to conduct YOUR relationships!
Hey, you asked, after all.
Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Here’s today’s question:
Do you really think a woman is a garden utensil if she sleeps with a man on the first date? And if so what does that make him?
KJ
If a man sleeps with a garden utensil, I … guess he has some kind of farm fetish? Judging by the 900 invites I get a day, some of y’all clearly are spending too much time with FarmVille anyway.
Some people see sex as purely a recreational activity. I think that line of thinking is stupid – no matter how much you pretend, sex isn’t the equivalent of a late-night game of Spades. Sex usually creates an emotional bond, whether intentional or not. That’s where the phrase “turned out” comes into play; it’s very easy to get attached to your partner after a bedroom throw down.
Still, my biggest concern is with people who use immediate sex to lure partners into premature relationships. If you’re trying to start a lasting relationship with someone, having sex with them on the first night is like getting a job offer and immediately buying a $750,000 house. What is the rush?
You’re better off slowly exploring this new endeavor – seeing if it’s right for you – than blindly rushing in and getting way over your head.
But I digress. To answer your question, no, I don’t automatically think a woman is a whoremonger for sleeping with a man on the first night, just extremely short-sighted.
And any guy who sleeps with a woman on the first night and says she’s a slut, she’s a ho, she’s a freak is just covering his tracks. Takes one to know one, after all.
One more question before I pack up for the day:
Should people be apprehensive about dating someone that has had a homosexual past?
Looking out for ‘Down-low’ brothers
Well, I think it depends on how deep that homosexual past goes.
Ahem.
Are we talking a one-off fling or a full-fledged, years-long gay relationship? You can debate all you want about whether one can “turn gay” or not, but there’s clearly a difference between experimentation and commitment.
If you’re thinking about starting a relationship with someone who is now un-gay, I URGE you to use caution. I don’t believe homosexually is something you can turn off with the flip of a switch.
Give the brother a chance but you better take it slow.
Very interesting read. Especially considering I read this article just a few days ago. Coincidence? I think not. http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-you-should-always-have-sex-on-a-first-date/