Love Letters: Why Won’t He Make The First Move?

Before I get into today’s love fest, I must thank my awesome readers for all the birthday shoutouts. Yes, today in Soul In Stereo Studios (aka Bowser’s Castle), we’re partying down in celebration of my borniversary.

Social Security might not exist by the time I get to use it but I’ll survive off the love of my crew.

And I’ll also be borrowing money from all of you.

But you’re not here for me, you’re here for advice. Here’s how you can contribute.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.   

Here’s today’s question:

You have been friends with a male coworker for two years and there is an attraction between the two of you. He’s always making lil remarks and giving you stares on the sneak tip but he has not made a move and you know he is single. He is constantly trying to get in your business. You treat him as a friend because you are not sure how to approach the situation. Does it mean he is not interested or is he DL or something?

TW

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 10,000 times in this very space – the rules of attraction have changed. Ladies, I’m sure your momma told you that a woman never approaches a man. Doing so would make you “fast” – or “thirsty” for those born after 1995. And NO ONE wants a desperate woman, not even a desperate man.

But that demure mentality has trickled over to the brothers as well. In an attempt to not look too eager, some guys are hanging back more, letting women approach them. It saves them from possible rejection, plus they can brag to their friends about how some girl is sweatin’ ’em.

So no, I’m pretty sure your coworker is not gay. Chill with that foolishness.

While I have no problem with women who are somewhat forward (in a respectful manner, of course), I’m an old school kind of guy and I don’t think ladies should have to do ALL the work. If this coworker is so interested, why is he satisfied with creeping over your shoulder and prying in your business?

He’s coming off even more thirsty than he would by just asking you out.

If you want to take the first step and initiate a date, I won’t argue with you. But if this guy has been peering around corners at you for TWO YEARS and hasn’t made a move, think about how indecisive he would be if you start a relationship.

Playing it cool is one thing, but if you really want something, sometimes you gotta man up and go for it.

BONUS QUESTION:

Who do you find more shallow? Men or women?

DW

I’ve been doing this column for what, like three or four years now? And one thing’s for sure:

Shallowness knows no gender, playa. I think we’d all be better off if we’d stop living in our selfish bubbles and put ourselves in the shoes of others, for once. It’ll go a long way in helping us appreciate what others go through. It’s not all about you, after all.

And on that note, I’m gonna go play video games. It’s my birthday, forget y’all.