Love Letters: Is Infidelity Hereditary?

The Chuck Woolery of the Internetz is back with another dose of love lessons.

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Here’s today’s question:

Is cheating an addiction, in your DNA or is it a choice?

KJ

Wow, y’all are getting all scientifical on me. Glad you’re stepping your games up.

Infidelity is certainly a choice and definitely can be an addiction. But can cheating really be embedded in your DNA? One study says so.

A couple of years ago, researchers looked at whether there are biological mechanisms behind infidelity. They focused on a gene called DRD4, which is associated with other behaviors linked with reward and feeling good. Here’s what they found:

People with a genetic variation of DRD4 called 7R+ were more likely to commit infidelity or be promiscuous; 50% of people with 7R+ reported being unfaithful, compared with 22% of people who did not have this genetic variation. Gender did not play a role in genetic variation; 23% of women and 26% of men in the group were found to have the 7R+ genetic variation. The results are published in the Public Library of Science’s PLoS ONE journal.

“What we found was that individuals with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity,” researcher Justin Garcia says in a news release. “The motivation seems to stem from a system of pleasure and reward, which is where the release of dopamine comes in. In cases of uncommitted sex, the risks are high, the rewards substantial, and the motivation variable — all elements that ensure a dopamine ‘rush.’

So according to this study, some people do have unfaithfulness in their bloodlines and they essentially get high off of creepin’.

Still, even if someone has the soul of Wilt Chamberlain in their bloodstream, it doesn’t excuse infidelity. It just means the person has to work harder to overcome it.

Addictions, faulty relationships, and I guess even your DNA can lead to cheating. They’re reasons, but not excuses. Regardless, cheating can’t be condoned.

So don’t.

Question No. 2….

If you have been with your man for 10 years and you’re still no closer to marriage than you were 10 years ago, is it safe you’ll never be married?

KJ 

First, I assume this 10-year relationship is between two adults and doesn’t include the six or seven years you dated in high school. Also, I’m sorry you were in high school for six or seven years.

But if you’ve been with your man 10 years and there has been no movement toward marriage, why would he bother? Clearly he’s content with how things are going and isn’t all that eager to make it official. I wouldn’t expect a ring anytime soon.

If you really want to be a bride, re-examine the relationship. Have you made marriage a priority? Or have you just been going along with the flow? I’m not saying to give your man an ultimatum (ladies, those NEVER EVER EVER work) but you’d better speak up if you want to walk down the aisle.

But don’t force him to be a groom. Shotgun weddings just lead to drive-by divorces.