Love Letters: How Do I Keep My Man In Shape?

It’s time again to hop on Love’s Train. If you have a burning question, don’t hesitate to ask.

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.   

Here’s today’s question:

Help. I’m a 30-year-old woman that has a good man but my issue is that he is obese. How do I get him to take stock in himself? If he doesn’t soon I’m gonna have to leave him.

YL

What’s wrong with a nutritional overachiever?

Oh yeah. Right.

Weight is known for being a tricky issue for women. There are lots of men lying in ICU right know because he dared to say his woman was looking a little round around the edges.

But men can be just as sensitive so it important that you approach the issues lightly. So to speak.

First, I hope your motives are mainly for his health and not just about his image. You say you’re 30 and let me tell you, playa, it’s a lot harder to stay in shape once you hit that third decade. Some guys are blessed with great genes. I have a friend who is on a strict diet of pizza and beer but has a body like those underwear models on the posters in Target. Most of us aren’t that lucky. I gotta hit the gym four times a week or I’ll quickly look like Sean Kingston.

If you want your guy to get in shape, encourage him, don’t passive aggressively belittle him. There’s no need to yell at him about his weight. I’m sure he already knows he’s heavy. If you want change, it’s up to you to lead the way. Work out together. Run around the block, cop a couple workout DVDs or join a spin class together. Use it as bonding time. We have two sets of married friends who run marathons together. It’s a great way to spend time together and stay trim. Also, Don’t load down the cabinets with snacks and whip up some healthy meals. Again, sharing a great, healthy meal can provide more quality time.

If you want your man to be healthy, you need to do your part as well. So don’t shove celery in that man’s face while you have your head stuck in a bucket of Blue Bell ice cream. Like most aspects of marriage, things quickly fall apart if you’re not the same page.

And perhaps most importantly, don’t compare your man to other people. Even if he reaches peak physical condition, he still might not look all emaciated like Cousin Chris Brown. At least I hope not. Health should take priority over image.

BONUS ROUND:

Why is it that the dudes that are bums are always good in the bedroom and the good dudes nine times out of 10 are not?

DW

WHAT DID YOU JUST ASK!!??!

Image via

Well, I don’t know playa, maybe these bums are sex machines because they’re laying around the house all day practicing on themselves instead of being, oh I don’t know, PRODUCTIVE like the good dudes.

Y’all get so caught up in the aura of a bad boy that you lose all good sense. You’re better off teaching the “lame” good guys the art of bedroom gymnastics than keeping some loser around who’s only good for cleaning your plumbing. Find a decent man or send yourself to time out, ma’am.

And one more, since that last question got me so heated:

Do you agree that most men that sleep around have severely low self esteem?

DC

Well, most dudes I know who sleep around actually suffer from way too much self esteem (like the bums DW mentioned above). In fact, it’s the women who are the ones with low self-esteem. Ladies, you must realize that no matter how muscular or good in bed or whatever he is, you deserve being in a committed relationship. Most guys (or girls) only wild out because their women (or men) let them get away with it. So, um, don’t let them get away with it. It’s really that simple.