Love Letters: Five Signs He’s Falling In Love

Below is the track “Red Eye” from Big K.R.I.T.’s latest mixtape, 4Eva N A Day. In it, he’s brutally honest to his girlfriend about why their relationship isn’t working. It’s a compelling song because he readily admits his own flaws along with hers. If we were always this transparent, love wouldn’t be so confusing. But as long as things remain complicated, I’ll be here to sort things out.

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Here’s today’s question: 

If you have been dating for awhile, what are some signs that he is falling in love?

KJ

The wifey and I have enjoyed six years of marital bliss and three years of dating before that. That’s nearly a decade of romancin’. And during that time, the question I’ve been asked more than ANY other has been this:

“When did you know Jai was ‘the one?'”

And my answer is always the same – I have no idea.

There wasn’t some magic incident that made me say “OK, I’m marrying this lady.” Love is like that stuff my mom cooks in her Crock Pot – all the ingredients have to be in place and must simmer for a long, long time before the (delicious) results are achieved. Hungry Man metaphors aside, there can never be one single act that defines love. Well, I must note the day Jai randomly brought me a giant bag of gummy bears to work was very, VERY close to symbolizing of true love.

Yeah, if you can’t tell, I’m hungry today.

But not as hungry as that guy. BAWSSSSE.

Anyway, it’s nearly impossible to segment an emotion as sprawling and uninhibited as love into neat little “signs.” But I specialize in the impossible. Using myself and a few of my male friends as examples, here are a few things men do when we’re falling in love.

Family Time: If your guy insists on meeting your family, or for you to meet his, congratulations, you have graduated from “jump off” to “someone special.” Jai is the ONLY girlfriend to ever meet my family. When you meet someone special, you want to share her with the ones you love.

Let’s Chill: Don’t think that “wining and dining” is an accurate depiction of a man’s affection. In fact, I’d say it’s the opposite. If your guy wants to hang out with you and do absolutely nothing but kick back and watch TV, have a long conversation or just take a stroll outside, it’s MUCH more meaningful than an orchestrated hookup. Sure, fancy dinners and expensive concerts are cool, but if he enjoys your company so much that he just wants to be in your presence with no strings attached, that’s special.

An Open Book: Face it, we all have secrets. Even guys like me who have no problem plastering his business all over the InterWebz still keeps many things closely guarded. If your man begins to open up to you it means you’re someone he can trust. Love is built on that trust.

2 Become 1: Has your man invited you to the company party? Asked you to join him for bible study? Accompany him as he picks out a new car – and DOESN’T ask you to cosign? When men see their mate as more than just arm candy, they begin to incorporate them into their lives. Whether it’s small weekly activities or large commitments, if he truly cares about you, he wants you around.

What the Future Holds: Here’s probably the biggest clue love is in the air – when your man begins to replace the word ‘me’ or ‘you’ with ‘us.’ Example:

The sentence “I think this promotion at work would mean great things for me.” becomes…

“I think this promotion at work would mean great things for us.” It’s a subtle but huge difference.

When you are no longer an outside party and become part of his future, love is in the air.

DISCLAIMER SO Y’ALL WON’T BLOW UP MY INBOX: Remember ladies, every man is different. Just because your guy exibits a few of these traits doesn’t necessarity mean it’s time to start bouncing checks in David’s Bridal. Love is a feeling – the feelings you both share take precedent over any list.