Edd’s MANtra: I’ve Got a (Boy) Crush on You

Yesterday, the wifey bared her soul and shared a few of her girl crushes – women whom she is infatuated with for a variety of reasons.


As you know, it’s a bit tougher for us men to reveal our admiration for others. But here on Georgia Mae, my life is an open book – except for the stuff that’s none of your business.


At the risk of destroying my manhood, I’d also like to share some of my crushes – dudes whom I wish I could be as cool as.


Percy Julian

Yes, I start my list of crushes with a dead dude. Excuse the necrophilia. For those of you who didn’t major in African American studies, Percy Julian was a pioneering chemist, specifically for the chemical synthesis of medicinal drugs from plants. Julian was also the first African American to receive a doctorate in chemistry. Julian was the subject of my first ever book report back in grade school, and I was absolutely enthralled by his story. Plus, just look at him – the man could wear a suit. He has a tie pin, too! Julian fueled my early passion for science, so much so that even as a middle-schooler I knew I was destined to become a great scientist. Now I write blogs for a living. Life is funny like that. Speaking of blogs…


Big Ghostfase

Without question, my favorite blogger right now is Big Ghostfase, the anonymous writer behind Big Ghost Chronicles. It’s an absolute goldmine for a crabby rap nerd like me. Big Ghost writes in the voice of a 90s rapper (hence the play on Ghostface Killah’s name), complete with bizarre slang and a rapier wit. If you think my tongue on Georgia Mae is acidic, this dude spits nuclear waste. Beyond the nicknames (the “Inventor of the Slap,” “Cocaine Biceps”) and vicious barbs (he has torn your favorite rapper Drake to shreds dozens of times) he is a very accomplished writer. I wish my stuff was a fraction as hilarious and insightful as his posts. He was recently interviewed by GQ, in character of course. Check it out here, and beware his Zeus slaps, nahmean.


Galvatron

You read that right. More than meets the eye, indeed. The story of Galvatron, evil nemesis of the Autobots, is one we all can relate to. Well, me, anyway. After Optimus Prime kicked the crap out of Megatron in the original Transformers movie (the good one, by the way, not the lame one), oppressive intergalactic glutton Unicron resurrected Megatron as the bigger, stronger and cooler Galvatron. But Galvatron still couldn’t take out the Autobots, and after nearly drowning in a lava pit (don’t ask) he slowly began to lose his mind. He spent half his time failing to take out the good guys, and the rest of the time slapping his own boys around out of frustration. The poor guy just couldn’t get ahead. Every time he got a break, the world would beat him back down – but every day he kept coming back. I admire that determination. He was the James Evans of Transformers.







Keith Sweat

Oh come on, you knew this was coming. Who did you expect? Herman Cain? Playa, please.


Fess up, fellas, who’s your boy crush?