Love Letters: Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Good lord. Look at that photo. The Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Love is truly blind. And deaf. And dumb.


Anyway, who needs advice?


Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

If you were once cool with a guy/lady and you don’t talk to them like that anymore is it cool to contact them without coming across as desperate?


DW

Hmmm, well, we’re talking about two different issues here:


a) You want to resume a friendship with your ex


b) You want to restart a relationship with your ex


The first scenario is probably the least stressful. If your ex is cool with starting a mutual friendship, I doubt you have to worry about coming across as desperate. Unless the relationship ended with a metric ton of drama (word to Rick Rawssse),  I see no problem in embarking on a friendship. And if your intentions are pure (you’re not just trying to start the friendship to “spy” on your ex), you don’t have to worry about being seen as desperate.


But things get sticky if you’re trying to rekindle the relationship flame. In order to not come off as a desperate psycho looking to burrow your way back into the life of someone you let go for no reason (sorry, I flashed back to some of my weirdo ex-women…) you’ll have to ease into things. Now, I know when it comes to relationships, the last thing y’all wanna hear is the word “slow,” but the faster and more aggressive you seem, the more desperate you will appear. Starting things fresh at a measured pace will alleviate any lingering pressure and could help you move past whatever killed the relationship in the first place.


By the way, if you know your ex has moved on to another relationship, I strongly advice that you do NOT reach out to him or her, even if you just want to be friends. Just let things be. If you don’t, you’re likely to come off looking like a homewrecker.

Too soon? You ever try sleeping with a broken heart?