Edd’s MANtra: Guilty Pleasure iPod Songs

A couple of days ago, while strolling around Georgia Mae headquarters on my birthday weekend, I really showed my age. The wifey caught me reciting these lyrics:


See you can’t give up ‘cause times get hard
It’s just that ol’ devil tryin’ keep us a-part
Say DEV-VAL! You ain’t got nothin’ here…


Jai said, “wait a minute, are you singing what I THINK you’re singing?” 


For you young’ns still waiting to order your class rings, the song I’m referencing is Betty Wright’s 1988 “No Pain No Gain.” Javacia couldn’t believe that I was a fan of a song that’s usually reserved for old lady cookouts.


I’m sure most of you think my iPod is solely filled with Keith Sweat and angry middle-aged rappers, but I have quite a few shocking tracks. Unlike cars ridin’ by with the boomin’ systems, people around you don’t really know what’s streaming through your earbuds, unless you want them to. In the interest of full disclosure, here are a few of the most surprising (and embarrasing) songs to be found on my EdPod. Yes, my iPod has a name. Stop hatin’.


Bow Wow and Soulja Boy, “Marco Polo”





Ugh, the rap antichrist and false prophet. I blame my brother-in-law for getting me hooked on this. With lines like “I’m on another level, I’m in my zone/black car, white rims can they both get along?” I should have my hip hop card revoked. I don’t know if it’s the moronic “Marco…polo” hook or simply the beat, but I can’t turn away from this car crash.


Miley Cyrus, “See You Again”





If listening to Betty Wright makes me a post-menopausal old lady, then this song makes me a Twilight-loving prepubescent lil’ girl (Notice how both rule out any trace of manhood. Ugh). I can’t stomach most of this girl’s stuff (that “Party in the USA” makes me want to vomit from both ends) but this song sounds like something fun from a ’90s TGIF show. So yes, I rock with Miley Cyrus. DMX would not be proud.


Lil B, “I Hate Myself”





If you don’t know my feelings on the walking ink stain that is Lil B, read my review of his last album. I’ve been told that Lil B only acts ignorant to reach people who wouldn’t otherwise hear his positive message. So this guy acts stupid so he can say stupid things to other stupid people and somehow we all become smarter? Right. I will admit that “I Hate Myself” (for once) actually has a very positive message and the haunting beat adds to the atmosphere. But I’d rather slow dance with a shirtless Rick Ross barefoot on a bed of nails than listen to another Lil B song.


Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”





A few years ago, I was in the car with the wifey. I was behind the wheel, she was riding shotgun and my iPod was putting in work through the speakers. A few songs into our trip, that familiar bango riff came up and I casually changed my iPod to the next song. Javacia said, “Wait, wait, wait, what was that?” Because honesty means everything in a relationship, I pretended like I didn’t hear her. She screamed, “Oh you hear me, what was that song?” My dark secret was revealed – mixed between those Wu-Tang Clan and Redman tracks was Taylor Swift. Yeah, I’m disappointed in me too. Her voice is as weak as sugar water and her lyrics are bad eighth grade poetry but there’s something moronically fun about this. Like an episode of Clarissa Explains It All it’s 100% cheesy but entertaining.


I see your judging eyes peering at me through the screen. Admit it, you have horrible guilty pleasures too. What are they?