Love Letters: No Benefits from this Friendship

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Here’s today’s question:

If you have a “friends with benefits” relationship should you ask the other person if they are sleeping with someone else since the STD rate is so high?


J.M.

Oh, playa. I don’t even know where to begin.


I’ve long been a detractor of the old “friends with benefits” deal. It just doesn’t work. For you pure hearted, innocent readers out there, “friends with benefits” are couples who simply meet up for sex with, allegedly, no strings attached. But here’s the problem – there are ALWAYS strings attached, no matter how much you try to ignore them.


In this case, those strings might be coated with cooties.


You have every right to ask your partner if he’s sleeping with other people but that person might not feel obligated to reveal that info. It’s likely your bedtime buddy will say: “We’re not in a relationship, so you don’t have a right to know.” Of course, your sexual health is at stake and you are owed an explanation, but your partner might not see it that way.


See why having friends with benefits is stupid? It blurs the lines set by traditional relationships and basically condones irresponsible behavior. People get to have their diseased cake and eat it too.


It certainly seems like you have reason to believe your partner is getting “benefits” from other friends. You need to get to the bottom of that ASAP. You also might wanna get tested ASAP. And since you brought up potential STDs, please don’t tell me you’re doing your thing unprotected. Swallowing two handfuls of staples would be safer – and smarter – than that.


If you think your partner is having unprotected sex with anyone other than you run for your life. Literally.