Love Letters: Cutie Pies

Two Love Letters columns in one week! Aren’t you lucky?


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Here’s today’s question:

If a guy says you’re cute does that mean he doesn’t find you to be attractive?


E.M.

OK, I’ll admit I was set to jump all over you when I first read this one. “The guy SAID you’re cute! What more do you want?”


But I think I see your point. Guys, think back to grade school, when the girls would slip you those notes that said “Do you think I’m cute? Check yes or no.” I’ll admit, there have been times when an, ahem, unattractive young lady slipped me such a note and I said she was cute just so I wouldn’t crush her soul.


Don’t act like you haven’t done that as well, ladies.


I think E.M. is concerned about this gentleman’s sincerity. First, you must remember all guys aren’t the same. We’ve discussed it before, but some fellas aren’t very expressive. Maybe in his mind, “cute” is synonymous with “gorgeous.” Just because he didn’t say “Guuuul, you so fine I’ll sop you up with a biscuit” doesn’t necessarily mean he thinks you’re a sea hag. In fact, guys who drop ridiculous lines like that are usually the most insincere of all.


I think the only way to truly tells if he means what he says is by his tone. “I guess you’re cute…” is a lot different from “YOU’RE CUTE!” If you feel like he’s patronizing you, he probably is.


While we love to be told that we’re attractive and desirable, don’t spend too much time fishing for compliments. What really matters is how the guy follows up. Without loving actions behind them, those compliments are as shallow as those grade-school notes.