Love Letters: Weak In The Sheets

Today, Love Letters turns into Loveline. Y’all don’t make it easy on a brother.


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Here’s today’s question:

What should you do if you meet Mr. Right but when you get intimate he is not up to par sexually? Do you stay or go? How do you tell Mr. Right he is not good in bed?


Dissatisfaction guaranteed

Slow down, Adina Howard. Before we start taking about bedside manner, let’s take a look a few things.


I have friends – successful, intelligent women – who refuse to pursue a relationship with a prospective beau unless he passes some sort of bizarre sex test. If he doesn’t handle business to her liking in the sheets, the guy is immediately kicked out on the streets.


I don’t think I have to explain all that’s wrong with that.


I know many people jump the gun (or jump the bones) to see if they’re sexually compatible with their mate. And I agree, sexual incompatibility can screw up a relationship in a hurry. But guess what – you can find out a lot about people by simply spending time with them. And by “time,” I mean, “talking with your clothes on.” Without going into the gruesome details, after a few conversations I quickly realized I wouldn’t touch some of the ladies I dated with a 20 foot pole.


Conversations – the disease-free way to weed out bad bedroom experiences.


But that advice is probably too little, too late for our dear reader. Ladies, let me fill you in on something – most guys want to please their ladies (even if it’s just to stroke their own egos) and actually appreciate your input. Problem is, many times they don’t get any.


Input, that is.


Remember the friends I mentioned earlier? They often get mad because their men don’t meet their secret needs. Well, how do they expect those needs to be met without elaborating? The squeaky wheel gets the grease, you know. Um, bad analogy.


Seriously, if a guy isn’t handling business, just tell him about it. Of course, there’s no need to shatter the man’s ego, but simple tips will go a long way. Talk about what you like, but emphasize what you’d prefer. But be sure to open yourself up to criticism too, cuz you’re probably not the sex machine you think you are. Making the input mutual will soften the blow. NO MAN wants to hear that his bedroom game is sub par but we love tips to improve our game. Focus on those improvements instead of pointing out flaws.


Notice how it all goes back to keeping the lines of communication open?