Love Letters: Love @ 1st Sight

The questions just keep on coming. Ladies, you must be trying to mark your territory – Valentine’s Day will be here in a month. I know how y’all think.

Ladies, send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at javacia@soulinstereo.com. Just provide your initials.

Here’s today’s question:

Do men really know when they find “the one” immediately upon meeting them?

Eyes on the Prize, s.f.

I’ll start this by recounting the day I first laid eyes on my future wifey.

I was chatting with a mutual friend at work when I spotted Javacia walking on the other side of the office. She had to be about 25-30 feet away. Still, I could tell from a distance that beneath all that hair was a fine woman.

Like any well-manner gentleman, I turned to my friend and said “OH LORD, who is that!?”

She said, “Oh that’s my new roommate, Javacia. She’s cool. Want me to hook you up?”

I replied, “Playa, no. What if she’s crazy?”

I was right about her being crazy, of course.

A week or two later, I finally met Javacia but I wouldn’t say there were fireworks going off. Sure, she was attractive and cool but I wasn’t emptying my savings to buy an engagement ring. It wasn’t until about a month later when we starting hanging out with mutual friends that we developed chemistry.

A LOT of my friends ask “when was the moment that you knew she was the one?” There wasn’t a specific moment. We got to know each other and over time the relationship grew and blossomed.

I personally don’t know any man who knew their partner was “the one” immediately after meeting her. It’s easy to determine if a woman has the traits of a good wife during an initial meeting, which sows seeds for a developing a relationship. But you won’t find guys saying “Imma marry her!” unless they’re trying to tie the knot in a hurry – or drunk in a strip club. Many men tend not to rush stepping into long-term relationships.

Ladies, PLEASE take time to get to know a man before jumping the gun, jumping the broom and/or jumping in the bed. As we’ve discussed before, letting the relationship mature will alleviate a LOT of headaches down the road.

And just remember the four romantic words I chose when I first laid eyes on Javacia: “What if she’s crazy?”