Edd’s MANtra: Anal Retentive

I received a text message Monday morning asking if I saw the “Eminem incident” on the MTV awards the previous night.

My first question was “which award show?”

I later realized it was the movie awards. I’m sorry, but as they say in the Good Book, “when I became a man, I put away childish things.” There is no way I can sit through three hours of corny comedians giving awards to kids I don’t even know.

And once I saw that “Twilight” racked up most of the awards I knew I made the right decision. I’m sure a bunch of you out there love that movie, but that film features the weakest bunch of vampires I’ve EVER seen. They look like they’d rather strum on their guitars and put gel in their hair than bite somebody.

Anyway, back to the Eminem business. Sasha Baron Cohen, the guy who plays Borat, flew into the awards show on a cable dressed as some weird half-naked angel thing, the wiring “malfunctioned” and he landed right on Em’s lap. With his bare butt in Em’s face.

For a few days, the big question was if this incident was staged. The Daily Mail reported yesterday that MTV writer Scott Aukerman revealed the stunt was in fact a well-rehearsed sketch.

Well, duh, Of COURSE it was staged. The camera zoomed in on Eminem WELL before Borat Guy started descending (very gently, I might add). They knew where he was gonna land. Plus, Em’s crew of henchmen merely lifted Borat Guy off of their boss and playfully batted him around, instead of stomping the tar out of him. That’s what they’re paid to do, right?

The bigger question here is why in the world Eminem would agree to this.

We all know Em has a bizarre sense of humor. He probably loves that Borat stuff. Plus, through most of his new album, Em uses a weird accent in most of the songs – maybe that’s inspired by Borat, who knows.

One thing’s for sure, Eminem circa 2000 wouldn’t have stood for this. But I guess he’s softening in his old age. As far as I know, he has yet to respond to Nick Cannon’s threats for dissing Mariah. I’m not saying he should, but y’all know the old Em would have eaten him alive by now.

Maybe we’re seeing the emergence of a kinder, gentler Eminem. Or maybe it’s just karma coming back on him. Remember when he spit: “My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips/and if I’m lucky you might just give it a little kiss.” I think Borat is waiting for his kiss, Em, the ball is in your court.

Heh. Balls.