A feminist and her wedding
The Houston Chronicle yesterday featured a very interesting story on feminist brides. The piece quotes women who are happily ditching many of the wedding day traditions such as the veil, the “virgin white dress” and the bouquet toss at the reception. Some of the women also scoff at the the idea of being walked down the aisle by their dad as they feel it implies you’re your father’s property to be given away. Many women are also forgoing the bling, opting for tattoos instead of rings to signify the union.
Just as intriguing as the article were the comments readers posted. Some folks argued that feminists who “thumb their noses” at women who do choose a traditional wedding are being oppressive themselves because the bottom line is that brides should be free to have any ceremony they want — even if that’s a traditional one.
Others feel the women from the article are hung up on things that don’t carry as much weight as they think.
“I do not think anyone thought I was being given away by my father as property,” one reader wrote. “I wanted him to walk me down the aisle because he was so excited about it. Does anyone really think it is ‘giving the bride’ away anymore?”
Though I am a self-proclaimed feminist when I got hitched three years ago I proudly had a traditional wedding ceremony. (Well, I didn’t wear a veil but that’s just because I think most of them look like mosquito net.) My white dress was fabulous and as an honest to goodness daddy’s girl there was no way I would have told my father I didn’t want him to walk me down the aisle.
I do abhor the way the wedding industry makes women feel like they need to spend $30,000 on one day in order to be happy. (My entire wedding day — ceremony and reception — was less than $5,000.) But I wasn’t really concerned with having a feminist wedding. I was more focused on creating a healthy marriage — a union in which my thoughts, desires and goals would be respected and I would be treated like a partner not a maid. And I don’t think my poofy white dress stood in the way of that.
I’m not at all a fan of the traditional wedding. I believe it should be whatever the bride wants whether that’s a 50,000 wedding or getting hitched @ the courthouse(which I prefer)!!
I’m all about a courthouse wedding in a nice pair of old comfortable jeans!! White just isn’t my color!!
I get where feminists are coming from, but the whole thing about your father giving you away like a piece property? It’s just not that serious. But then again I’m fortunate enough to be extremely close to my father and stepfather, so maybe it’s not for me to understand..
I think looking down on any woman for wanting anything, be it a traditional wedding or to be a stay at home mom or to be a CEO of a huge company, is actually anti-feminist.
Haven’t we been fighting all this time for the right to be who we are?
Amen, Kat. I completely agree with you.