Love Letters: Should You Date a Man With Financial Issues?

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This weekend I watched The Bourne Legacy with the wifey. The movie was OK, I guess. I go into those movies expecting action, not 90 minutes of guys in suits bumping their gums. I could have just watched Creflo Dollar if I wanted to see that.

Anyway, it occurred to me that every action star is required to have a love interest, no matter how tacked-on it might seem. I’m not sure why that has become a movie requirement but it’s definitely true in The Bourne Legacy. Eh, folks adore love stories, I guess, even in movies with high body counts.

If you want me to weigh in on your body counts…er, love stories, hit me up.

Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:  

Is it smart to get involved with a man who cannot keep his finances intact?

CJ

This is one of those questions where your immediate reaction is this:

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But much like a cat that eats lasagna and hates Mondays (despite not having a job) things are a bit more complicated than they seem on the surface.

Timez iz hard these days, and you’d have to be absolutely nuts to start a relationship with a guy who gets his financial wisdom from rap videos. And it really saddens me to see that many young men have no concept of balancing a checkbook or just lack general money management. When I was about 12, my mom sat me down and imparted her financial wisdom – making me the cheapskate you all know and love. I’m starting to realize that many guys haven’t had that luxury.

However, just because a guy’s money is funny right now doesn’t mean all is lost. In these days of crippling student loans and joblessness, it’s pretty hard for anyone to be financially stable. If your guy is working toward stability and is making wise financial choices, he shouldn’t be criticized for having a lightweight wallet. Many of my friends made irresponsible financial decisions back in our college days and they’re paying for it now – literally. The fact that they’re handling their bills as best they can shows that they’re dependable and mature, qualities you should look for in your next boyfriend.

Just for clarity’s sake, I hope “man who cannot keep his finances intact” doesn’t translate into “man who cannot afford to buy me stuff.” I once took a girl out to dinner who CLEARLY was using my generosity to stock her fridge (the girl was 98 pounds, why did she need TWO entrees?!) She was pissed when I revised her order with our waiter. And by “revised” I mean I yelled “playa please, she ain’t getting all that!” It had nothing to with a lack of money, it was a lack of common sense on her part.  Even if your man has Diddy’s PIN number, wasting money on dumb stuff is financially irresponsible. And when his Money Bin dries up, he’ll probably make the same mistakes.

Whether your man has racks on racks on racks or he just got out of debtor’s court, just make sure he’s spending (and saving!) his money wisely. Financial wisdom is better than financial stability.

And on that note, looking at my rolly it’s about that time – for a bonus question!

Why is it that when some people get emotionally attached to people and they get hurt they never want to throw themselves out in the game again?

MC

Can you blame them? Heartbreak is no joke.

Do they still make those gigantic puzzles that are the size of a coffee table? I remember working with my aunt on one for about a week only to watch it get knocked over, destroying hours of work. After all that effort, I was too annoyed to start from scratch. Relationships are no different: after putting in months – even years – only to watch it fall apart, it’s mighty hard to pick up the pieces and start from scratch.

In those cases, it’s best to just let the heartbroken person heal on his/her own. Rushing that person into a relationship will do more harm than good. Once they’re in a better place mentally they’ll be ready to get back in the game again.

Not me, though. I haven’t touched a puzzle since.