Love Letters: Should Wives Submit to Their Husbands?

Got a question about your love life? I’ve got an answer. Just drop your queries into my inbox and I’ll get around to them. Eventually.

Don’t rush me, it’s not like y’all pay me for this.

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Here’s today’s question:

Do you think women should be submissive to their husbands?

KJ

Well, it looks like it’s time once again to open the doors of the church on y’all.

But please, no tambourines.

I truly hate that Christianity gets a bad rap for being sexist and antiquated. In most cases, it’s just sexist and antiquated people making the Bible sexist and antiquated. It has nothing to do with scriptures.

For example, It’s funny how often that “women be submissive to your husbands” phrase gets tossed around. Problem is, y’all aren’t reading the entire verse. Here it is, from Ephesians 5:22:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

See, speed-reading the Bible will get you in tons of trouble.

To answer KJ’s question, yes wives should be submissive to their husbands but, and here’s the important part, as they are submissive to the Lord.

“Submissive” doesn’t mean “slave.” In this case, it’s respect. Respect your husbands as you do God.

This also ties into the following verse in Ephesians that people take umbrage with, the man being the head of the household:

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Again, weak-minded people have flipped those words to mean “The man is the boss.” Uh, no. Step up your reading comprehension. “As Christ is the head of the church” is the key here – Christ isn’t “the boss” of the church per se, He sets the example for the church to follow.

Therefore, men set the spiritual example of the household. They should be the role models. That doesn’t mean the man MUST be the breadwinner or MUST bark out orders or MUST get the biggest piece of fried chicken (although I won’t complain if they do). But they MUST set the pace for strong values. Husbands lead by example. Wives, then, must follow that example. And that doesn’t mean y’all get to slack off and say stuff like “I ain’t washing my car. That’s the man’s job.” It’s not about deeds, it’s about character. Wives must also uphold the moral character set by their husbands and be there for support when times get rough. From experience, I’ll tell you there’s nothing better than a good wife to provide comfort when the world is against you. Those experiences then carry on to your children, who learn from their parents the importance of love and respect.

Wow, so you mean families can learn how to thrive by reading the Bible? Who woulda guessed that?

So yeah, women should be submissive to their husbands. But that has nothing to do with frying steaks or scrubbing plates. Make sure you marry a man who upholds spiritual values and be content to follow his lead.

Leave your tithes and offerings in the baskets on the way out of the door. But first, one last bonus question:

Why do women always fall for men they have to try and fix?

TB

Sigh. One of the BIGGEST mistakes daters make is hooking up with something with “potential” and thinking they can “clean up” the loser into their perfect mate. Playa please.

Many women do it out of a sense of frustration. After dating guys with 100 flaws, if they meet one with just a couple flaws they figure they can put up with the drama while molding him into their dream guy. Get real, you cannot reshape a person into someone else. Unless you’re dating Clayface.

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I’m not saying men can’t change negative aspects of their character, but that change can only come from themselves.  A woman may be able to influence change but they can’t force it upon anyone.

Ladies, stop treating men like a raggedy house.No matter how much money, time and effort you throw at him, that fixer-upper can only change on its own.