Love Letters: Cupid’s Facebook Page

Man, the mailbox at Georgia Mae headquarters is bursting with Love Letters questions. If we haven’t answered yours yet, never fear. We’ll answer every single one in time.


Keep ’em coming, as my boy Keith would say.


Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

I have a Facebook friend that I don’t know very well but I want to get to know him better. I find him really interesting. How do I approach him without looking desperate or like a cyber stalker?


Computer Lover

I mentioned in my last post that social media gets a bad rap in the dating game. Sure, you’ll find some creepy losers on Internet dating sites, but you’ll find just as many creepy losers at your local church.


You know those old pimps who unbutton the top five buttons on their silk shirt, unleashing their chest hairs upon the world while reeking of Old Spice and chicken wings – not a good look.

As I said last week, recognizing a good mate is much more important than where you find him or her. So if you wanna do some Facebook mackin’, feel free.


But how do you build a relationship with someone you can’t physically see? It’s not as hard as you’d think.


Thanks to running my mouth on Facebook, Twitter and Georgia Mae, I’ve made lots of new friends, some whom I talk to nearly every day but have never met in person. We established that friendship the same way all friendships are created – through common interests.


That’s what you should do. Engage conversations with him. Find out what he likes. For example, if you know he’s a music fan, post on his page, “hey, did you check out those raggedy BET Awards? GeorgiaMae.com has a great review, I think you’d like it.”


I love cheap plugs for our blog.


Establish a dialogue. People put all their business on Facebook anyway, use that to your advantage. Everyone likes status comments, so if the guy is having a bad day, offer words of encouragement. If something cool happens, congratulate him. Just don’t go overboard. Bombarding his page with comments and tracking his every move WILL make you look like a cyber stalker. Just take things slow. It’ll also give you a chance to see if this guy is really the one for you.


Although earlier I compared the way I build FB friendships to how you can build FB relationships, they are not exactly one and the same.  I’m confident you can plant the seeds for a relationship via social media, but it’s very unwise to START a relationship via social media. At some point, you’ll have to meet this guy face to face and see if there is a physical attraction and chemistry.


Yes, I often preach that looks aren’t the most important thing, but um, you kinda have to like what your dude looks like in person. What looks like Robin Thicke online could look like Robin Leach for real. Same goes for his personality. He may SEEM cool in those status updates, but you must spend time with him in the real world to know for sure. Don’t get too caught up in his online persona.


Social media’s greatest strength is making connections. Use that to your advantage, but don’t rely on it. Even in the today’s high-tech world, nothing beats old school “courtin’,” as the creepy old church dudes say.