Songs I Never Ever Want To Hear Again

Like most of y’all out there, I’m feeling “Royals,” the smash from New Zealand pop star Lorde. Any song that disses the music industry’s unrealistic obsession with booze and bling is cool with me.

But sadly, the song is becoming a victim of the excess it preaches against. The joint is EVERYWHERE. MTV rarely plays videos but they’ll happily air that video on an endless loop. The lyrics are plastered all over social media feeds and every girl with a prepubescent voice is out here trying to hit thosee “I’llrule/I’llrule/I’llrule/I’llruuuuuuuuuule” notes.

I’m *thisclose* to being done with Lorde.

It certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve turned my back on a once-beloved song.

We’ve all been there. Oversaturation often makes our favorite songs the bane of our existence. Here are a few songs that I once loved that I never EVER want to hear again.

Honorable mention: Nearly everything that dribbled from J-Lo’s lips from 2001-2005.

Jay-Z, “Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)” (1998)

The first time I heard the title track from Jay’s classic 1998 album, I thought it was genius. Using the “It’s A Hard Knock Life” score from the 1982 “Annie” movie as a backdrop for Jay’s rags to riches story? Brilliant. But it began losing its luster around the, oh, 50,000th time it played on radio. Also, the song seemed to become more corny with each radio spin. These days, the squeaky sample and Jay’s molasses rhymes make my stomach turn. Ugh.

Mariah Carey, “We Belong Together” (2005)

How can you forget Mariah’s big comeback song? Yeah, I wish I could. Like most R&B fans, I loved that this song was a throwback to Mariah’s glory days but incorporated elements of the current musical landscape. Too bad radio stations PLAYED THIS SONG INTO THE GROUND. In fact, this is the song that made me turn by back on radio for good in 2005. To this day, when I hear those opening piano keys, vomit rushes up my esophagus.

Next, “Too Close” (1997)

Y’all don’t understand. You just don’t understand.

For more than a year, every urban radio station in my hometown was obsessed with this song. And I don’t mean, “oh, I hear this song every day.” No, you’d hear this song more than once IN THE SPAN OF A HALF HOUR. On the same station! I’m not exaggerating. I’ve never seen such a massive push for such a mediocre song. Mariah’s “We Belong Together” was a huge hit, so I understand its omnipresence. While “Too Close” did hit No. 1 on the charts (mainly because of Va radio, I’m guessing) I still don’t understand how a song about groping women on the dance floor deserved to be shoved down our throats for more than 365 days.

I now hate this song SO MUCH that I can barely tolerate the song it sampled, Kurtis Blow’s “Christmas Rappin.” In fact, when that beat drops, I hold my breath, hoping that’s it’s Kurtis and PRAYING that Next hasn’t returned to torture my soul.

Next ruined radio in 1997 AND 1998, ruined Christmas, and ruined my dance floor experiences – every girl thought I was trying to grope them thanks to that horrible song.

When I’m denied entry into heaven as penance for dissing wack rappers, my eternal punishment will be listening to Next grind on women.

What songs do you wish would go away forever? Go off in the comments section.