Love Letters: The Cheating Cycle

Earlier this week, I saw a commercial for a love advice hotline – $5 to let a complete stranger tell you how to live your life.


Why pay $5 when I can butt into your personal business for free?


And before someone asks, I’m not the guy wearing the suit in the picture.


Ladies, send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at javacia@soulinstereo.com. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 



Here’s today’s question:


Why do men cheat? And why is it that when women cheat on them in return they can’t handle it?


Getting Even, k.e.


Oh lord.


So let me get this straight.You wanna know why these evil, no-good men break the hearts of the ones they love to chase after their sinful, carnal desires and DARE to get mad when women break the hearts of the ones they love to chase after their sinful, carnal desires?


Playa, please.


OK, let’s start with the easy part. Why do men cheat? We’ve covered this before: Depends on the situation. It doesn’t always mean that the guy is a poorly groomed, shoeless sex addict (word to Eric Benet). Sometimes a man falls out of love, sometimes he’s too cowardly to admit his current relationship is over, sometimes he feels the grass is greener in his neighbor’s lawn (so to speak) and sometimes it truly is a one-time mistake. And yeah, sometimes he’s just Eric Benet.


The reasons vary and they’re not always malicious – not that that’s an excuse. Cheating is wrong, period.


And speaking of excuses…


Nothing fires me up more than the old adage “if he cheats, that means I can cheat.” Just to refresh your memory: Cheating is wrong, period. Ladies, if you’re so eager to jump in some other guy’s sheets, or couch, or backseat of his ’74 Pinto, clearly you weren’t very attatched to Mr. Cheater in the first place. And what exactly does this endless cycle of cheating accomplish? That a woman can beat a man-whore at his own game? What does that make the woman?


Stooping to your cheating man’s level proves nothing, and solves nothing. Here’s a novel idea – if your man won’t get his act together, break up with him.


You wanna know why men can’t handle it when women cheat? Because cheating is a painful destruction of trust. The SAME PAIN women feel when men cheat. Passing that pain around doesn’t do anyone any favors.