Love Letters: Should You Return Your Engagement Ring?

Looking for some love advice? Allow the cyber soothsayer to share his wisdom.

Here’s how you can submit your questions.

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Here’s today’s question:

If a couple calls off an engagement should the woman give the ring back?

Not Jumping the Broom Anymore

I get a lot of engagement questions here, and that usual leads to be getting yelled at a lot in the comments. But it’s cool. I’m skrong.

According to some of our prior chats on engagement bling, it seems that there’s a large portion of ladies who see a ring as some sort of ratchet wedding dowry:

“It’s my reward for years of cooking and cleaning.” — actual quote from the archives.

Don’t get mad at me – y’all said it. I should be the one mad at such a ridiculous statement.

An engagement ring is not just jewelry. It represents your mate’s commitment to your budding relationship. And if that relationship is called off, doesn’t that render the whole thing pointless? Why would you want a reminder of your failed relationship?

Let’s put it in simpler terms:

• If you were the one who called off the engagement, you might want to give the ring back.

• If you were only engaged for the length of Meth & Redman’s “Da Rockwilder” track, you might want to give the ring back.

• If you were the cause of the strife that wrecked the relationship, you better give the ring back.

But things are rarely as cut and dried as those examples:

• If you gave up your past life, job and friends to follow your beau to a new city only to get dumped, I can understand if you want to keep the ring.

• If you remanded committed to your man but he was the one who decided to be unfaithful, I have no problem with you keeping that ring.

• If you stuck it out with your mate for years only for him to suddenly have a change of heart, hold on to the ring if you want.

Judge your relationship on its own merits. The ring IS a technically a gift, and if daytime court TV has taught me anything, you probably aren’t legally obligated to return it.

However, if you’re hanging on to the ring out of spite, or if you’re looking to cash in at the nearest pawn shop, put the pettiness aside and just give the ring back. It clearly has lost its meaning.

BONUS ROUND:

What has happened to dating? Why are we in the hookup era?

Ready for Romance