Love Letters: Mr. Telephone Man

When it comes to love, I turn to the great philosophers for inspiration: 


“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” – Charlie Brown


That’s real talk.


Do you have a burning question about the opposite sex? Hit us up.




Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 


Here’s today’s question:

Let’s say you approach a guy and exchange numbers with him. If he doesn’t call within 24 hours is it cool to contact him?


Impatiently waiting, JM

Ah, the waiting game. For some reason, when we’re waiting on something – be it microwaving food or getting microbraids in your scalp – 10 minutes seems like 10 hours.


Except bills. Those defy the space-time continuum.


But before I address the question above, I’d like to briefly touch on one point:


“Let’s say you approach a guy…”


Ladies, despite what your momma n’ dem told you, it is OK for you to approach a guy. No guy is gonna call you a “hussy” or “fast in the pants” or whatever it is the old folks say. Just like you, we guys like to know that someone is interested in us. Just be sure to follow the same rules for guys who approach girls – don’t be overanxious and pushy.


Striking up a conversation with a guy and asking if he’d like your phone number – cool.


Screaming “HEY! HEY! WAT YOUR NAME!?” from the second floor of the mall at a poor, unsuspecting (but well-dressed) brother on the first floor – not cool. Sigh, sometimes I don’t miss my college days.


Keep that in mind as you watch the clock tick in anticipation of calling your guy.


Again, I think it’s fine for a woman to call a man, but 24 hours might be too soon. When I had my first full-time job I worked crazy hours and it took me two or three days to return calls at times. There was nothing more irritating than receiving voicemails from girls who were “just checking up on me” when I hadn’t returned their call from 12 hours ago. I know how y’all have hyperactive imaginations (“he hasn’t called me back in 15 minutes, he must be creepin!”) but it’s not always that serious. Remember, at this point, you don’t really know this guy or his lifestyle – don’t jump to conclusions.


Not only may your potential guy be busy with work, family, or whatever, it’s always good to let things breathe. If you’ve forgotten about the guy in 48 hours maybe he wasn’t all that special.


I think two or three days is a good window to contact your guy. Remember, ladies, it’s OK to make the first move but never pester a guy. If you do, you’ll hear his dial tone in no time.