Edd’s MANtra: Porky’s Revenge

Although I work in the media industry, I’m not always up on current events. I blame the long, torturous hours I work, although you can probably factor in the many hours I spend watching “I Love Money.”

Because of this I hadn’t even heard of swine flu until yesterday. And according to my beloved media industry it is the end of life as we know it. In our newsroom, I sit in front of three televisions which broadcast major news networks. I’ve never seen so many experts predicting doom and gloom in my life.

I only had two questions: a) Is the virus deadly? and b) Will this keep me from eating bacon?

Actually I eat bacon very rarely, but I’m not going to let The Man tell me when I can and can’t eat it.

Anyway, since many of my media colleagues are being irresponsible, it’s up to me to calm everyone down. I’ll share some swine flu facts that I pieced together from cnn.com:

– Swine flu can be fatal for people with weak immune systems, just like regular ol’ influenza. But an infected person shouldn’t necessarily start writing his or her will.

– There are no vaccines, but there are medicines to treat it. The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention recommend using anti-viral drugs.

– Don’t throw away all the pig feet you have in the freezer – you CANNOT get swine flu from eating cooked pork.

There you go. Yes, the rising cases of swine flu are a reason for concern but we’re a long way from zombie pigs roaming the streets. It’s way too early for mass hysteria.

But perhaps there is a silver lining – maybe black folks will FINALLY stop eating chitlins. We have overcome, it’s OK to stop eating that slave food.