Album Eddits: Reimagining Drake’s Scorpion

I’ve been a big critic of today’s overly long albums, but let’s be real – it’s a problem that has persisted long before the streaming era. In Album Eddits, I challenge a Soul In Stereo fan to join me in trimming down a massive double-album release into a lean, mean 12-track release.

If y’all thought I was hard on Drake’s most recent album, I guess you weren’t around in 2018 when Scorpion dropped.

This double-disc behemoth had even the most ardent Aubrey fans saying “ehhhh, I don’t know about this one…” so let’s see if we can help your boy out. Joining me to cut this one down to size is Brandon O’Sullivan (aka Young Theo!) from the Soul In Stereo Cypher.

May the odds ever be in our favor on this one.

Disc 1

1. “Survival”

Brandon: The opener of Side A is the free-flow Drake, where he raps about various topics over this spacey production. It’s not a bad way to kick off the album and had one of my favorite lines: “You n****s pop mollies, my ‘Malis pop n****s.” While it’s not one of the standouts, I won’t rush to press the skip button. I’ll keep it.

Edd: Drake starts things off by saying “I’ve been waiting on this one!” I guess that only makes one of us. Drake “real” rap intro songs are usually OK, and that’s par for the course here. A forgettable but solid intro.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

2. “Nonstop”

Brandon: First off, the Tay Keith production is a certified Memphis slapper. I’m a sucker for Three 6 Mafia samples (although it was Mack Daddy Ju), but Drake’s monotone rapping ruined this one for me. Especially some of the most cringe-worthy lines on this song. SKIP.

Edd: I’m not as in love with the production as the homie Theo but there are certainly worst offenders to be found later. I’m much more bothered by Aubrey’s dull, lackadaisical delivery. We’re TWO songs in and he already seems unbothered. This is gonna be a LONG post, good lord.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

3. “Elevate”

Brandon: The third song of Scorpion where I have nothing to say about it other than it’s meh. I don’t know why French Montana had an appearance, but his ad-libs did nothing to this forgettable track. I am not keeping this one.

Edd: This is again Drake at his most Drake-est – coma inducing half rap, half singing, all lazy. Get this trash outta here.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

4. “Emotionless”

Brandon: Ah, yes. The Mariah Carey sample to go along with the most infamous line of the album. “I wasn’t hiding the kid from the world; I was hiding the world from my kid.” LAWD. I understand why celebrities don’t post their kids because of social media bullying, but NO SIR for Drake’s end. You thought Pusha T was another Meek Mill, and you fell for the bait. Drake should be thankful that surgical summer did not happen. But all jokes aside, another keeper for his introspection.

Edd: Look at Mimi making miracles! Her “Emotions” sample FINALLY gives this album some much needed life. Along with the backtracking on his kid stuff, Drake does his usual mopey “I’m rich, why don’t people love me?” routine. But it’s by far the best track so far. It can live.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

5. “God’s Plan”

Brandon: Man, I can’t believe this is the biggest song of 2018 because what’s makes this different than any Drake song? Is it the “I only love my bed and my mama” line? I guess. I would not cut this out because it kicked off the album campaign, and it’s not bad of a song.

Edd: This may be one of the signature songs from the album but it’s highly overrated in terms of quality because, AGAIN, Drake sounds like he’s napping in the booth. I’m serious, he can’t even get through the “wishing on me” line without dozing off before he hits the “h.” Is this your king!? Song is mainly remembered for the video concept than the actual track itself. I guess I’ll keep it because we gotta keep SOMETHING on this thing.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

6. “I’m Upset”

Brandon: I don’t know why he decides to drop this right before The Story of Adidon. The song sounds like a Lil Yachty-type beat that Drake found on a SoundCloud and pretends to rap like one. CUT!

Edd: Grumpy Drake is so boring to me. He squeals “I’m upset” like a bratty kid getting dragged through Target. Another dull track with simplistic rhyme pattern and barely any effort.

This album is killing my soul and we’re not even halfway through. I’M the one who should be upset!

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

7. “8 Out of 10”

Brandon: Now, this sounds like the Drake I want! Boi-1da (along with Jahaan Sweet & OB O’Brien) bodied this production. The sample flips from Lil Kim to Marvin Gaye to Detroit Emeralds worked effortlessly. If you want a response to Pusha T, this is the song. Although, to be fair, some of the lines were contradicting. Minus the outro of Plies saying you big mad (which Drake is mad), this is an automatic keeper for me.

Edd: OK, this is more like it. Solid production, Drake’s bars are among the strongest on the album, and look at this, he’s actually putting in EFFORT. What a concept! By far the most underrated track on the album. I’m happy to keep this one.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

8. “Mob Ties”

Brandon: Ugh, a Great Value version of a Young Thug song. “I’m not with the ra-ra; I am a Dada.” Drake’s trying to push himself as a good guy (because of the beef) is hilarious at this point. I’m not a fan of tough-guy Drake, so this gets cut on my end.

Edd: Drake’s Mom – What do you want to be for Halloween this year, Aubrey?

Drake – hmmm, I wanna be 21 Savage!

And that’s how this song was born.

It’s not great but pickings are slim around here so it can stay.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says STAY

9. “Can’t Take a Joke”

Brandon: The production from ModMaxx is solid, but it’s not enough for me to like this song. Another typical Drake track that works well for the die-hards. CUT.

Edd: One of the few tracks that sorta grew on me after my 2018 review. It’s catchy, I’ll give it that. Not a great track by any means but considering what else we have to work with around here it’s decent enough to stay.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says STAY

10. “Sandra’s Rose”

Brandon: I remember when Drake posted an old-school pic of DJ Premier on his Instagram story months prior, and I assumed he worked with Preemo. And lord behold, that’s what happened on “Sandra’s Rose.” I was disappointed when I heard it because it’s not the style I was hoping for sonically, but it fits the theme Drake was rapping. Plus, there are no scratches on the song, which is weird for Premier’s standards. It is one of the better songs on the album, and it deserves to stay.

Edd: Drake on a DJ Premier beat? I’m required to keep this one, right?  Despite having the chance to REALLY spit over a track crafted by one of rap’s GOAT producers, Drake’s annoyingly flat and lethargic on this one. If he spit with more intention this could have been a really great track. Instead, it’s … just fine. But mediocrity gets you a gold star around here.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

11. “Talk Up”

Brandon: I don’t understand why they don’t go to DJ Paul for production as much they work with Juicy J. My favorite beat on the album happens to be on Talk Up. I never thought that Drizzy would end up rapping over N.W.A.’s Dope Man. Despite Jay-Z having a decent feature, I don’t remember a damn thing Drake does on this track, so I’ll cut it.

Edd: Drake doesn’t do much of anything here, surprise surprise, so there’s plenty of room for Jay to steal the show. That feature alone is enough for me to keep it around.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says STAY

12. “Is There More”

Brandon: We made it to the end of Side A. Drake closes it out, rapping about his life as usual? Nothing new or boundary-pushing, but when he’s rapping with substance, it goes a long way for me. It’s great that he put Nai Palm (the lead singer of Hiatus Kaiyote) at the song’s end by singing Aaliyah’s More Than a Woman. A keeper for sure which transitions to Side B.

Edd: Yep, another one of those tracks where Drake reminds heads “SEE, I can really rap!” We know you can, which is why I get so irritated when you sleepwalk through your albums. Unfortunately it comes off as another forgettable “woe is me” rap track. Nothing new to see here.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says CUT

Disc 2!

1. “Peak”

Brandon: I do not like this song to kick off this album’s “R&B” side. It’s just boring all around, and he needs to hire good writers that could bring this song to life. But the vocals have to be on point. I’ll cut it, and we’re just getting started on the second disc.

Edd: If you thought I was grumpy on Disc 1, you ain’t seen nothing yet.There was a point early in Drake’s career where I liked R&B Aubrey more than Rap Aubrey. But like oversized white tees and jerseys, we’ve been off that. “Peak” is Exhibit A as to why I feel that way – this song is like audio anesthesia. So, so, SO boring. Next.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

2. “Summer Games”

Brandon: Well, this is another song that had the potential to be one of the standouts because of the production, but it didn’t stick the landing. Again, the singing is non-distinct, which is unsurprising because it’s Drake. I will take this off because it isn’t helping the album’s quality.

Edd: This is basically Drake talk-whispering over a track while the beat bubbles like my stomach after too many jalapeno nachos. No sir, I don’t like it.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

3. “Jaded”

Brandon: The song where Drake’s (allegedly) singing about Jorja Smith. Noel Cadastre’s production is spacey but with 808s pounding. With background vocals done by Ty Dolla, I am afraid to say that this is my guilty pleasure of this album. I will keep this one, but I can’t defend the eye-rolling lyrics on this song as it’s my ongoing issue with Drake.

Edd: I know there’s a lot of love for this one, mainly because it fits the current moody R&B template. Atmospheric production, flat harmonies, awkward lyrical structure and VIBEZ aplenty. Call it Faux Soul. Also call it an Uber because it’s gotta get outta here.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says CUT

4. “Nice for What”

Brandon: Drake dropped his second single leading into Scorpion; this is my favorite one. Granted, Murda Beatz should’ve done more with the Lauryn Hill sample, but it’s so fun and catchy with additional help from Big Freedia backed by a New Orleans bounce. I’m keeping this one!

Edd: FINALLY A GREAT SONG! Ironically, I first heard this while on a trip to New Orleans and it does that NO bounce justice. For my money, this is the best Drake song in years and he still hasn’t topped it. It’s energetic, a masterful flip of a sample and a great tribute to an overlooked musical era without straight-up cosplaying it. If all his songs were this well constructed I wouldn’t be so irritable.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

5. “Finesse”

Brandon: The song that has the line of “fashion week is more your thing than mines.” Yes, the singing is nothing special, but with the help of James Fauntleroy’s writing, it gives the song some more oomph than the usual corniness. Call me crazy, but I’ll keep this one because it’s a fan favorite and has been covered by numerous artists.

Edd: I know the fans love it but I don’t see why, other than a cute line here or there. Another snoozer on this disc filled with filler.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says CUT

6. “Ratchet Happy Birthday”

Brandon: I get it. Drake wants his version of a Happy Birthday song. With uncredited vocals by PARTYNEXTDOOR, this is the WORST song of this entire album. I don’t know why he adds a double dose of autotune to a cheesy track. This one is an easy cut from this album.

Edd: OH GOD

OH GOD

THIS SONG. “You hotter than Anita Bakin’, baby?” Even if this is suppoed to be parody like BIG’s “Playa Haters” it fails at that – it’s too juvenile to be funny and too poorly constructed to be entertaining. Pair up this one with “Way 2 Sexy” so they can win the Most Garbage Drake Song tag team championships. An absolute waste of space.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says BURN THIS SONG

7. “That’s How You Feel”

Brandon: Meh. That’s all I can say about it because there’s nothing to break down. Also, the Nicki sample from her Boss A** B**** freestyle was unnecessary. I know her fanbase is out to get me, so feel free to do so that I would ignore your messages. Mind you; she hasn’t featured on a Drake album since Take Care. Once again, I’ll cut this one.

Edd: That Nicki sample really just felt like a way to suck up to her and her fanbase. Otherwise, there’s nothing to comment on here. Yet another forgettable track as this album continues to drag on for eternity

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

8. “Blue Tint”

Brandon: Well, another track to throw in the pile of forgettable. What in the hell Future is doing on the song? In the words of Shannon Sharpe, “SSSSSKKKKKEEEEEEUUUUUUPPPPPP!”

Edd: I thought this was the R&B portion of the album, why is this throwaway Future collab popping up like silverfish in your grandma’s bathroom?

LORD THIS ALBUM WILL NEVER END

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

9. “In My Feelings”

Brandon: Man, Shiggy set the tone for this song and the craziness of the Kiki challenge. Pray for the children. Although it was a smash hit, it doesn’t have the memorability as Nice for What. But I can’t deny that this song put City Girls on the map. As much as I can’t stand the song and challenges that followed, I can’t cut this song out because it had the summer on lock. It deserves a shine because Drake appeals to a wide variety of audiences.

Edd: I know, I’m as sick of Kiki as y’all are thanks to the ubiquitous Tik Tok challenges that spawned from this track but it’s one of the few genuinely catchy and memorable moments on this horrid Side 2. It’s not my thing personally but it serves its purpose. I’ll keep it.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

10. “Don’t Matter to Me”

Brandon: Now, here comes the biggest offender on this album. Lord knows how much money he paid for that unreleased late Michael Jackson vocals, but this song did not work well. Hell, even his stans weren’t on board with this record. I think the song is good if you take him out, so I don’t have to think about MJ. CUT!

Edd: Did we ever determine if it really was Michael Jackson on this track and not Weeknd in a red leather jacket? The MJ sound effects on the Moonwalker Genesis game were more convincing than the vocals here. Again, besides there phantom feature there’s absolutely nothing noteworthy to discuss. Money well spent, Aubrey.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

11. “After Dark”

Brandon: This sounds like a Midnight Love jam from the late 90s – early 2000s. The re-work of Maxwell’s The Suite Theme sounds good. I got to show love to Static Major, a songwriter taken from us so soon. He was destined to take his career to another level. My feelings towards Ty Dolla aside, he didn’t bother me on this song. I prefer him over this type of production with better writing than a generic club banger—another keeper.

Edd: From his giant creepy Aaliyah tat to his constant Playa stanning, Drake wanted to be in the Supafriends SO BAD. Honestly, I can’t blame him, they’re awesome. There’s only two songs on this album that survived my original purge in 2018 and made it to the Valhalla that is my personal playlist – “Nice for What” and this one. Drake’s tone works very well over the production and I’m always down for a nod to the greatness of Static. Ty Dolla is unnecessary window dressing (per usual) but he doesn’t ruin the song. Good stuff.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

12. “Final Fantasy”

Brandon: A song that I wished I liked because of the title. The beat is nostalgic, but Drake’s verses were not good. In the first verse, when he alludes to a women’s private part that sounds like waves hitting them, he proceeds to make the waves sound? Playa PUH-LEASE. It doesn’t help that the beat switch isn’t up to par. I’m cutting this one out because this is borderline cringe.

Edd: Even though this one is called “Final Fantasy” and the sample sounds pretty close to the game’s iconic “Prelude” theme song, apparently it DOESN’T sample it at all. So … why call it that in the first place? You name a song that sounds like something but really ISN’T something? This is the Impossible Burger of beats.

These are the only interesting things I have to say about this boring song. NEXT.

Brandon says CUT, Edd says CUT

13. “March 14”

Brandon: The final track of Scorpion. Another vintage Drake where he lets it out with one verse. The D’Angelo Lady flip was immaculate. March 14 is not the date his son was born, but more so the news he found out that he was about to become a father. It’s interesting after all these years rapping about the struggle with his parents to now becoming one. To his defense, he alluded he had a baby on the way on the More Life track, Sacrifices. I guess he had brain damage, but once again, he let Pusha T ruin his rollout. I will keep this track. However, it bothers me how he was struggle singing over a Boyz II Men interlude dedicated to their fallen manager. “I’m changing from boy to a man.” *Sighs*

Edd: It only took A HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES but we finally get to some solid substance. Here’s the track where Aubrey tries to remove Pusha T’s foot from his anal cavity and share the story of his son’s birth. If not for Pusha we might not have heard about this kid until he was 37 years old, but Drake does a solid job here, again proving that he’s a good artist when he puts forth some effort.

Brandon says STAY, Edd says STAY

The Eddits

Brandon:

1. “Survival”

2. “Sandra’s Rose”

3. “Emotionless”

4. “God’s Plan”

5. “8 Out of 10”

6. “Is There More”

7. “Nice for What”

8. “In My Feelings”

9. “After Dark”

10. “Finesse”

11. “Jaded”

12. “March 14”

Edd: The first disc of this thing is Drake going through the motions. But if you thought he was phoning it in on that one, he has NO CELL SERVICE on the second disc, which is absolutely abysmal and unnecessary.

I can’t make miracles but hey, my version is much better than what we got.

1. “Survival”

2. “Emotionless”

3. “Nice for What”

4. “God’s Plan”

5. “8 out of 10”

6. “Talk Up”

7. “In My Feelings”

8. “Sandra’s Rose”

9. “Mob Ties”

10. “Can’t Take a Joke”

11. “After Dark”

12. “March 14”

Who has the best cut of Scorpion, Brandon or Edd? Let us know below and share your favorite tracks too.