Love Letters: Dating in the Church

February 4, 2014Edward BowserLove Letters, love life2

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, which means Cupid is gonna start blasting some of you with his military-grade rocket launcher.

Before you get swept off your feet, or your head blown off, holla at your boy.

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Here’s today’s question:

Say a guy in the church was in a relationship with another church member but it didn’t work out. A few months later that guy wants to date you. Do you think it’s a good idea or not? You’re not friends with the person the guy dated but y’all are cordial.

Church Girl

First, before we begin, let me clear up some misconceptions about Da House of Da Lawd.

Everyone assumes the church is home to the most holy, sanctified, flawless people on the planet. Playa please. A church is more like a spiritual hospital, where ailing, broken spirits go for healing.

It’s a horrible mistake to assume that church folks are not judgmental and crazy. It’s quite the opposite. Some of them are just as sick in the head as the rest of us. They’re just in the right spot to find deliverance.

But back to your question.

If you’d like to date a guy a few months after he as (completely) broken ties with another person, that’s fine as long as ample time has passed. And once y’all start dating, it’s very likely that nosy Sister Deaconess Annie Mae of the Ursher Bawd (with the white gloves) will start running her mouth.

Let her talk. Church folks are gonna get in your business. Church folks will always get in your business. Don’t live your life worried about what they say, do or think. As long as your spiritual house is in order, feel free to date whomever you choose.

Your relationship is between you, your guy and your God. Not anyone else.

Love Letter regular KJ is back at it.

Why is it that people hate to admit that at times it sucks being single?

KJ

Being single isn’t always easy. Humans crave companionship – it’s just how we’re wired. And it’s especially tough dealing with the single life when all your friends are in relationships and you’ve dealt with a revolving door of idiots.

But there’s nothing wrong with being single. It might be depressing at times but it’s not the end of the world, right?

I know, I know, easy for me to say. I’m married and stuff.

The single life is tough and some have a harder time dealing with it that others. But it helps to not dwell on what’s missing from your life (i.e., a boo thang) and instead to focus on what you do have – time to focus on yourself and your own goals. It can be hard to do that when you’re pouring your all into some other person. Um, so to speak.

It sounds corny to say LUV YOSELF BLACK QUEEN but it’s true. Single life sucks sometimes. But life is what you make it. Stay the course, don’t settle for less (PLEASE don’t settle for less) and happiness won’t be far away.

And one more cuz I’m in a good mood:

Should a woman or man wait in the wings for someone to become single?

Patient Waiter

What? Good lord, waiting around for someone to become single is like waiting outside of a bank for someone to accidentally drop their checkbook. There’s a possibility you might cash in but most likely you’ll just waste time by standing around like an idiot or you’ll get accused of stealing someone else’s blessings. Either way, it’s all bad.

If you have your eye on someone who’s already in a relationship, here’s a tip – LOOK ELSEWHERE. Don’t fight over claimed goods like psycho parents battling for Elmo on Christmas Eve.

Now once the relationship is over (and I mean seriously over, not your wishful thinking) you’re welcome to make your move. See Church Girl’s question above. But please pour out that Haterade smoothie – you shouldn’t have to wait for one relationship’s demise to create one for yourself. Respect yourself enough not to dabble in other folks’ affairs.