A Love Letter to Facebook

Dear Facebook, 


I have been devoted to you for years now. I’ve told you my likes, what’s on my mind, and even my religious and political views. We’ve shared so much. I’ve given you a play by play of life events ranging from Black Friday shopping to road trips. So why do you feel as if you must continue to lie to me to get my attention?


First you tried to convince me that if I told you my bra color it would increase breast cancer awareness. Then last week you said that if I changed my profile picture to an image of my favorite childhood cartoon character that it would help stop child abuse. Really? Did you think I’d really fall for that. If you wanted to talk about my childhood you could have just asked. And I was more than happy to post an awesome picture of Jem so you’d think I’m truly outrageous, but I really wish you’d just be honest with me. 


And the way you seem so hungry for limelight is really a turn off. Why did you ask me and all my friends to post those cartoon pics and then spread rumors that this was all a scheme by pedophiles? Just so you could make the news? That doesn’t even make sense!! You claimed perverts were doing this because kids would be more apt to accept their friend request if they saw a cartoon picture. But why can’t they just change their profile picture? Why does everyone have to do so? 


Oh, and then you said the images would make it easier for the pedophiles to find kids since users posting recent cartoons would most likely be minors. 


Don’t you get it, Facebook? I love you for you who you are. I know I’m wasting my time with you, but I don’t care. That’s how head over heels I am for you. I don’t expect you to be an activist out changing the world and I don’t expect you to make the evening news. Just be there to listen to me tell you where I’m going for dinner and look at pictures from my past birthday parties and our love will last and last. 


xoxo,
javacia